


Best of Both Worlds

by HecoHansen31



Category: House of Cards
Genre: Anxiety, Camgirl! Reader, DDLG, Daddy Kink, F/M, Infedelity, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Porn, Porn Prejudices, Sex, Slut Shaming, videochat sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:41:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 26,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23115658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HecoHansen31/pseuds/HecoHansen31
Summary: Duncan can’t help himself from falling for a cam-girl, right when she admits to him that she is considering quitting… but luckily for him the new intern seems familiar…
Relationships: Duncan Shepherd & Reader, Duncan Shepherd & You, Duncan Shepherd/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	1. "More Than You Bargained For"

**Author's Note:**

> :Hello lovelies!
> 
> I actually decided to try and publish this today, because I didn’t want to be anxious about posting this, meanwhile I was on my trip.
> 
> I hope that you’ll love this new series, and I also want to excuse any mistakes about the cam-world you might find. I am not a professional cammers, so I did my best on my own researches and what I know about it, which I realize is so so little…
> 
> (So if you have any suggestions please let me know anything and I will be extremely grateful adding it to the future parts) (yeah this will be a three-parts series).
> 
> Also I am tagging @dyns33, because she has a very nice “pornstar! Michael” piece you might want to check out!
> 
> I really hope you’ll enjoy this and if you want to show your love and support, don’t forget to heart it, reblog it and finally… LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT!

Duncan had always thought that men who watched porn, were unsatisfied annoying middle-aged men, trapped in an sexless marriage, with problems of their own.

They weren’t like him.

If he felt the “urge”, he would visit a club, make a call or simply flirt with a younger assistant, and soon they all would be coming home for him, for a single one night stand with a beautiful man, who knew what he was doing, in bed and outside of it.

But after his experience in prison, he wasn’t anymore the man who used to be able to court women as if it was some kind of agonistic sport: it was as if he was broken and every woman looked forward to fixing him.

As if he was just an interesting puzzle not the man who had swiftly rebuilt himself after a scandal.

He couldn’t stand the pitiful glances that were sent on his way, alongside the fact that, since he had discovered the truth behind his true heritage, he couldn’t feel comfortable into flaunting his family’s name, although it was what had gotten him everything, before the prison.

Looking back at it, it made him just feel pathetic and seeing as every woman he met was either interested into his “tormented soul” or his family name, he had started avoiding them as the plague.

When the urge hit him, he found himself opening the computer.

In his days porn wasn’t so easy to find, but right now, where all you need was to google it.

The first month he had watched some of the most common porn websites, but it still made him feel detached and he had soon discovered, in his wanderings, the “cam-world” where men and women offered shows and livestream in exchange for money.

The fact that most of shows were live, helped him with feeling more present in the videos, but he mostly wandered around, feeling definitely disinterested most of the time, and sometimes it took him more fantasy than the actual video to get to his own climax…

He was slowly losing hope, and then three months into his “wanderings” he had discovered “her”.

She was in the top 50 of the last site he had visited: he had found her since he had started searching less popular cam-girls, since not only the chats were less crowded but also they had a less “fake” approach to the audience, usually being much sweeter and lighter in the kinks they exploited to get their audience interested.

She was dressed in baby pink, clearly appealing to some DDLG fantasies, and this had gotten Duncan hooked.

But what had gotten Duncan to stay and come back for more had been the realness she showed on her channel, matched with a genuine softness and a naivety that made the girl stand out in the crowd.

Her name was “Heavenly Brat” and he couldn’t help but be more and more curious about her.

He could see why she was less popular than many: she mostly went topless on group chats, and there was only some light petting, preferring to adapt her daily livestreams with different scenarios, which brought the audience to feel engrossed in its plot.

She also enjoyed some lighter kinks, unlike the big of the “cam-world”, but most of her clients didn’t mind it, bashing in the girl’s gentleness and sweetness, which was matched (much to Duncan’s chagrin) with perfect manners: she always thanked her clients and in texts replied properly and in time.

She always apologized for starting her lives even a minute later and soon Duncan couldn’t help but contact her privately.

He mostly joined her livestreams and sometimes would tip her out of them, watching her recorded videos.

But he had never contacted her: he was mostly scared of going there and being unable to do anything, which would end up with the entire situation being all too awkward, although he low key wished to know more and see more about her.

He remembered the first time he had contacted her: it had been an hellish night, Billy and his “mother” had roughly insulted him over national TV and it made him feel so so bad.

No matter the fact that he had broken away from that branch of his family, but it still hurt.

He had thought that she would be able to cheer him up, she certainly did it with her videos, so why not try a private one?

He suppressed any stupid prejudice that it was pathetic to try to satisfy himself this way, and not with a real girl and he had texted her to set up the livestream.

She had been extremely gentle in the texts they had exchanged, and they had set down a few ideas on how to work, with her leading through the entire thing and that night.

When he had opened his laptop, he had found her waiting for him, on her knees, with the computer set on her bed.

“Hello daddy” she had giggled, and he, who thought it would have been awkward and stupid, couldn’t help but feel immediately enthralled in her.

He still remembered the light blue set she had worn, he had asked her to wear that color and she hadn’t disappointed, showcasing a body, which wasn’t perfect and certainly he had seen some other cam-girls who might have been prettier, but he liked each flaws, they gave her an earthly beauty and matched her personality, which brought him to believe even more in her, meanwhile she gently adjusted the strap of the bra, teasing him.

The only thing that bothered Duncan was the fact that she was always wearing a mask: he had learned later that she did it because she didn’t want camming to be her only job, and she was currently on the lookout for a job which didn’t involve stripping in front of camera, and she knew that a lot of people could be a bit prejudiced about having been in the porn industry.

Hence, she avoided showing her face, in fear of being recognized.

Duncan still saw her pretty eyes, glinting full of mischief and her puffy lips, wrapped around either her fingers or a soft pink dildo.

She did much more in private livestreams, and this got Duncan to come back, day after day, offering her more and more in both tips and offers, not caring about it too much: if there was something he didn’t lack of, was money, so…

He had overcome each prejudice about porn he might have had, alongside her expert guide, and he sometimes didn’t come back only for the video, but sometimes they would just lay in front of each other (he never showed his face and he had found a device to change his voice; although his prejudices had disappeared he thought it would have been a great scandal to find Duncan Shepherd was visiting porn sites…) and they would talk about each other’s life.

He discovered she was a college student, who had lost her last year of it due to mental health problems (she didn’t dive too into it, and he didn’t ask: there was some kind of deal between them, which made them accept only what the other wanted to share) and after her family had thrown her away, breaking any contact with her, she had resumed to camming in order to complete college and graduate.

Duncan had told her about his family problem as well, alongside the hurt of feeling like people wanted him only in parts, not the entirety of him.

“I just feel like they say they don’t get me, but it happens only when their perception of me is different from what I truly am”.

“That’s something you get used to, when you live behind a camera” she had mumbled, meanwhile she trailed gently her hands down her naked body, nothing sexual “… I love the easy money and the confidence coming from this, but I just wish that people could see me more than a toy to get off with”.

They understood each other, as much as Duncan understood it was stupid and fucked up… he liked her.

“You wouldn’t like me in real life” she giggled, once he confessed it “… I am a bit of bitch in real life”.

He couldn’t believe it, but again… he only saw what she wanted to share.

And he couldn’t get burned by this.

That night it was all in the back of his mind, since after a rough period he had finally managed to book her… for the entire night.

She was crouched down, with her fingers between her thighs, teasing herself and producing a loud squelching sound, which Duncan appreciated greatly; her bra, a black one (matching with the transparent blackish silky panties she had discarded somewhere) was pushed down her chest in order to showcase her nipples, hard due to the excitement, which she pinched with the hand that wasn’t between her thighs.

“I need to come, daddy!” she screeched, stilling a bit the movement between her legs, which didn’t go unnoticed by Duncan.

“… you forgot the magic world, sweetie” he remembered her, meanwhile he sat more comfortably, downing a bit of the whiskey he had poured out at the start of that show “… and don’t stop, sweetie, don’t you want to cum?”.

She whined lowly, but eventually added a gentle “please”, with her deer eyes pleading his attention, meanwhile she went back to pushing her fingers into herself.

“Please, pretty please, daddy…” she protested louder, since he hadn’t talked and she bounced faster, clearly she was reaching the edge, but she knew better than to come without his permission “… I want to cum, very very badly”.

He smirked, looking at her sweaty skin, and downing the rest of his dark drink before his hand started roughly fondling his manhood over his pants: although he hadn’t touched himself for the entire live, he couldn’t deny that a few touches would have been just what he needed to fumble over the edge.

“I know sweetie” he mumbled, meanwhile she gently pouted her lips, childishly moving her foot around “… but you look so pretty”.

She giggled, although her laugh soon turned into a moan.

His hand speeded up and soon he found himself to be slipping it under his pants, touching the boiling skin, sensitive and sticky, which was a shame, since he liked those pants.

“Are you touching yourself, daddy?” she asked, meanwhile her fingers retreated themselves from her, and moved onto her little engrossed pearl “… are you touching yourself to how pretty I am?”.

He laughed, roughly into the mic and he saw the shiver that went through her body, meanwhile she opened her shy mouth, angling it in a tiny smile, her fingers sticky and some of it was dripping between her lower cheeks, and he found himself following the trail with his eyes, his tongue poking out from his lips.

“What if I was?” he replied, daringly, meanwhile he hissed at the sudden touch of his tip, before he moved to fondle the base again “… can you wait for daddy?”.

She nodded, clearly unable to talk, closer than he had thought, and he couldn’t help but be indecisive on whether he wanted to see her let loose in front of him right now or … make her wait devilishly…

“… you are such a good girl, for daddy” he mumbled, meanwhile he lost himself to pleasure, speeding up and almost thrusting into his hold “… you make my day always better”.

She almost shone of happiness, after his last affirmation and went to pinch gently her nipple, and he honestly would have given anything to suck it into her mouth, but he had a screen in front of him, sadly, not the real thing.

“You are too kind, daddy” she whispered and before he knew it, he had lost the control of himself and with a few pumps he was lost to the pleasure and she with him, with the way she screeched gently in his ear.

When, finally, his vision came back and pleasure didn’t blind him anymore he found her riding the last waves of her orgasm, with her finger caressing gently her sensitive pearl.

She was breathing heavily, and her eyes were closed, but her cheeks came to life with a bright red color.

Her hair was disheveled and her lips were swollen, almost as if they had been kissed thoroughly and not because of the constant biting she had done on it, meanwhile Duncan had her teasing desperately-

But most importantly, her womanhood was glistening brightly in the shy light of her room.

As soon as she came to her senses, with a tired smile on her face, clearly satisfied with their show, she suggested that they clean up, their form of aftercare, alongside Duncan asking her if she was ok.

They didn’t ever venture into hardest kinks or anything that might make her end up in a bad headset, but he felt still bad that he could only talk to her and not comfort her more physically and enjoy her own cleaning, which was something that she left off-camera, in fact she closed the live with the promise of coming back in a few minutes, after a quick shower.

He took the time to slip into his elegant pajama, after a quick cleaning, mumbling at the sensitivity of his own member, and feeling ready for another round, but “Heavenly”, how she had suggested he called her (although he wasn’t afraid during his roleplays to call her the other part of the name), sadly had told him that she had to get in bed early, for that night.

“Hello there, stranger” she welcomed him, in a green cute pajama, with a bunny on it, her hair was collected in a ponytail and the only hint of what had happened were the little red flush on her body.

“Hello there, pretty thing” he welcomed her, meanwhile he set down the computer on the enormous bed, which made him feel even more alone at night.

“… how is everything on your side?” she asked, joking about the fact that they were basically laying on opposite bedsides, as if they were having a real conversation.

“Nice… I mean it’s a bit of a rough period, but you managed to make it better”.

She rolled onto her stomach, embarrassed, clearly not knowing how to accept compliments.

It was the real “Heaven” that shone in those moments, sweet and genuine, with just the little quantity of sarcasm.

“…you are a flatterer” she left out, meanwhile she played with her ponytail and pushed a pillow onto her stomach, to get more comfortable.

“Just saying the truth” he sometimes wondered what she thought of him: did she see him as a stupid rich boy?

He had told her the generics of his job, not enough to make him recognizable, and he couldn’t help but think that she probably saw him as some stupid middle-aged man with a pendant for fun and pretty girls, cheating on his wife with an internet creation.

And it hurt him.

He honestly wanted to share the truth, but… her knew all the prejudices around the porn world.

He had shared some, enough that he felt horribly, mostly after he had met her and he couldn’t help but admire her strength and sacrifice, in opposite situations, he wouldn’t have be able to do the same; maybe he shouldn’t have to, since he was a white male.

He hadn’t had trouble after exiting the prison and he had been helped through it…

“… getting lost in your thoughts, flatterer?”.

He hadn’t realized that he had spaced out, and she welcomed him back in the “real” world with a smile, caressing gently the little stomach she showed thank to the hiked up pajama; in these times she was so natural and pretty that he couldn’t help but want to know more about her.

Without that awful mask.

“Again, too much to think…” he replied, meanwhile she giggled, sending him a serious glance.

“I am offended you are getting bored of me, flatterer” she pouted with her pretty swollen lips “… you are all talk and no play”.

Duncan replied with a glare that told her to either back off or face the consequences, which meant another round and maybe some slapping, since she was being definitely a brat.

“Don’t use big words you can’t back off from, brat” he spat out, and she just ended up in giggles, before setting herself down, a little shadow of nervousness appeared in her eyes and Duncan knew each cell of the screen of his laptop too well not to notice it, although she concealed it with a quick smile “Something troubling you, brat?”.

He tried to make her laugh, but she just flinched uneasy and he immediately felt bad.

“… did I do something wrong before?” he asked, his tone no more teasing, and just concerned for her.

“No no” she shook her hand, meanwhile she adjusted herself, immediately feeling uncomfortable in her skin “… I just… I start working, tomorrow… a normal work… and I am scared to fuck it all up”.

He knew that she sometimes picked up jobs in order to break off a bit from the “cam-world”, but most of the time she came back to it, mostly because it was extremely difficult to get a nice job when she was still in college, since she still needed to attend lessons and study, but also a lot of people didn’t hire college students.

She had finished college a few months ago, alongside starting a search for a job, but till now it had been useless.

He had wanted to try to offer her a job, but he also felt like he might not accept it, mostly because he was a stranger and if he hadn’t been too old for it, there was still “stranger-danger”.

And he couldn’t do too much without her real identity.

“You won’t, sweetie” he tried to reassure her, which got a sad smile from her “… you will do amazing”.

“I don’t think that you can exactly judge me on my work ethic” she mumbled, meanwhile hiding in the pillow on her stomach.

“Why not?” he replied, with a bit of a fight “… you said it yourself that sex workers shouldn’t be treated differently from normal jobs!”.

She had educated him on the entire matter, including a little polemic between them, where she had basically screamed about how women were supposed to use their body for only male’s pleasure, according to the thought of the mass, but once they profited from it… well suddenly they were horrible night creatures.

“Yeah… but like… what if I can’t…”.

“You are the most well-mannered person I have ever met, you never come in late to your livestreams and even if you do, you always have a proper excuse and are not afraid to say sorry! You are creative and can think outside of the box”.

She was now staring at the screen and he low key hoped that he could show her his face, so that she could know more about how he meant each word.

“… every boss would be lucky to have you as their employee! -.

She hid a bit her face, but he knew it was mostly due to her embarrassment, again: compliments made her shy.

And he loved when that happened.

“Thank you, for your kind words” she mumbled, meanwhile she passed a hand through her ponytail “I am just always nervous about new things, alongside the fact that I am scared about how this might affect my life here”.

He knew that if he found a job where she could have her clothes on and that would be pay well, she would be soon out there.

He low key hoped it for her, mostly because although there was nothing wrong with camming, he saw that it wasn’t a choice she did with her heart free.

“… hey, let’s focus on one thing at the time, you go there and give your best impression, got me?”.

She nodded, shyly, although he could see she was reassured.

“Got you” she confirmed, before breathing out “… what would I do without you?”.

“Die for anxiety attacks?” he suggested, jokingly, knowing that anxiety was something she had to deal with constantly and although she kept it tucked away during the livestream, she had gotten comfortable enough with him that she started opening about it with him, for which he was somehow grateful “Just… know that I would miss you, if you got out of here…”.

He heard her take a sharp intake.

“… but I am happy, as long as you are happy”

That morning had started awfully: he had slept in, because he hadn’t been able to wake up, after Heavenly had given him the news of her newest job.

He was worried about how it might go and that morning, alongside a quick “good luck” he had asked her to keep him informed on how it went, although he knew that he wouldn’t see her tonight, since she had taken a day off from camming.

But also, alongside being worried for her, he couldn’t help but be worried a little bit about himself.

What would be happening once she quit your job for good?

He would be happy she had a safe and nice job, but he wouldn’t have anybody with whom he could talk about late at night, somebody who would be calling him so sweetly “daddy” just like she did and most importantly he would never discover who you were.

He honestly knew that if she decided to get out of this life, her videos and livestreams would have come with her, although they both knew that they wouldn’t have been deleted from the internet, forever.

But the mask was there to ensure her anonymity.

And he would never see her again.

He had spent a few hours turning in bed, till he decided to watch a bit of TV and check out emails and other things for work and in the end he had fallen asleep in his living room, and now he had the mark of his computer practically burned into his left cheek, meanwhile he tried not to burn the breakfast, before realizing that it was safer and easier to just get it on the go.

Had he known that his favorite shop would be overflowed with tourists he would have reconsidered the idea.

Long story short: he came in the office late.

Not that anybody cared since he was the boss, but he hated giving the bad example for his employees.

Carla immediately met him halfway with a loving glint in her eyes: she had been his assistant, at first and then his co-CEO, occupying herself with all the social part of his newest empire, he couldn’t have chosen better hands.

She was discrete, had her own independence from him and knew how to do each thing without Duncan’s help, for which he was grateful since he had barely time to solve his own problem, but she did more: she helped him, and he was extremely grateful for that.

-Ready for a nice day? – she squeaked up, offering him some papers with the plan of the day -…or maybe not…-.

-More like not, Carla- he couldn’t get mad at her, but he couldn’t avoid the little black cloud around his head, as a halo -… I am going to hide in my office, from my bad luck till the end of the day-.

He hadn’t much social work to do, although he still appreciated it, so he knew he could absolutely stay in his office, checking emails and organizing things, but still Carla stopped him.

-… I might need you for a quick second; you need to overlook and approve my new assistant- and she pointed to the girl sitting at her desk, awkwardly, looking around almost scared.

She was in a little black skirt and a white blouse with a little bow at the neck, the jacket was discarded mostly because she must have been feeling a bit hot and bothered due to the entire examination and as soon as she caught up where Carla was looking she lowered suddenly her eyes.

And Duncan had had immediately pity of the poor girl.

-She is approved- he mumbled and turned around, basically running to his office, where he stacked himself for at least five hours, which meant that the only time he went out was for lunch, and as soon as he exited, he found himself Carla’s newest assistant waiting for him.

The girl was actually very prettier than he had thought, with her hair pushed up in a loose ponytail which kept her hair effectively out of her face and a small smile on her face, clearly nervous and shy and he wondered how much she had waited for him to come out of his office.

“Hello there, new girl” he saluted her sarcastically, meanwhile she immediately stood straighter, clearly at unease.

“Carla asked me to get you, since she thought that you might have been passed out in your office” and then she realized her words “… her words not mine”.

“Thank you, for letting me know, I was actually going to get lunch, and I’d suggest you do the same, if things haven’t changed, you have probably run up and down the starts at least for five times” he knew how hard Carla could be on interns, at least at first (but they never stuck around that much, so…), but it was because she expected the best.

“Six times, actually” she corrected him, shyly, moving her foot behind her, and trying to focus on the tip of her hoes, which got Duncan to gently put a hand on her shoulder.

“You are doing great” he could see the awe in her face: people were extremely surprised whenever Duncan showed that he cared about someone other than himself.

Another reason why he hated relationships: everyone was convinced that he was come cold sociopath, which he somehow wasn’t… he had feelings, not matter how much he tried to hide them, and he could be nice to people.

Mostly cute interns, who looked a few minutes away from a panic attack.

A cute intern who actually reminded him of somebody, but he couldn’t quite… understand… who.

“Have we met before?” he asked, meanwhile he checked the girl better, trying to see her face, but she hid it even more, just shaking her head, and before she almost headbutt him in the face, when she raised her head, with a fearful look in her eyes, but Duncan couldn’t figure where he had already seen her “… I am pretty sure I have seen you in some commercial…”.

Her tight expression immediately relaxed, and she again just shook her head, hugging her chest, and he couldn’t help but feel like she was either trying to protect herself or hide her body.

“Never been in the modelling or advertising world, so you must have me confused- her smile was a bit nervous, but he also understood that she didn’t need another interrogation, so he decided to drop the entire quest; he would try to figure it out on his own, mostly because it would have been awkward had he thought she was someone totally who she wasn’t…

She must have already thought he was a creeper.

“Then I must have gotten confused” he mumbled, shaking his head and moving forwards, towards the exit of the office, being met with Carla, who grabbed gently his arm, talking with him about the new cute Italian place she wanted to go to.

But he turned around and saw her breathing a deep breath of relief: what was the new intern hiding?

* * *

The first day of work had finally finished.

And she had only gotten a half anxiety attack.

She had tried to do her best for the entire day, trying to stay positive, coming early, introducing herself with her best words and trying to make friends around the office, as much as she could, since Carla basically made her run up and down the office, for photocopies and coffee refills.

But she hadn’t minded it: they were manual tasks and she could do it.

What got panic into her, was the fact that Duncan Shepherd, the definition of “self-made man”, had suggested that he had already seen her and for a moment she had thought that he might have recognized her as “Heavenly Brat”, but thankfully not only he had dropped the entire thing rather quickly, but also he hadn’t been able to place her and admitted he was wrong.

So, she tried to shake off the feelings of being discovered, and tried to get her things together, getting her coat from the wardrobe room, meeting there with Carla, her own boss.

She honestly admired people like Carla, but she couldn’t help but feel tired and a bit underestimated.

Still she wasn’t only an intern, but she was on try-month, which meant that she was a step lower than insects, in importance.

“You are going home?” asked the redhead, who was adjusting herself in her elegant and designer coat, which put to shame the coat she had chosen, a dupe of some famous designer, pretty enough to hide the fact that it wasn’t original, but next to Carla’s, it was… stupid.

“Yes” she tried to smile, it was the last step and then she would be home, in her room “… obviously if you don’t need me to do anything… anymore”.

Carla just smiled and she was sure she would be dishing one last order, but she just shook her head, before gently smiling and wishing her a “goodnight”, which got her to immediately rush off to her car and into her little apartment, shedding her coat and her heeled shoes, sitting with her legs open and her arms mercilessly spread on her sofa for a good quarter of hour.

And then she got up and started her dinner, which meant heating up the leftovers of the previous night and meanwhile she waited for the microwave to do her magic she shed the annoying shirt with the strangling bow, taking her mind off work with a quick visit to YouTube and Netflix.

She ate in silence and then moved into her room, a small paradise of a little girl.

She had had to actually redecorate it since she had started her career of Heavenly Brat, it was a tactic both to make the room much less recognizable, alongside being a perfect way to make a few more money, mostly since many of her clients came to her for her sweet baby image.

Not everyone was interested in sex, but most of the time they had some kind of kink which involved the DDLG community, hence she tried to look the part, with the lingerie and the room.

And it had started being strangely reassuring, so she didn’t mind the bright pink on the wall and the stuffed animals (which she actually fell asleep with) and the childish mannerism she had to use, during her lives.

She certainly wouldn’t have chosen such a profession, not that she felt like that it was something shameful and inferior, but she had been thrust into this world, because her family had cut her off and that was the only way she could make fast money, keeping up with college.

She could study after she shot a few videos, which got her to pay the rent and the groceries.

And then there were the private lives: they went from giving her simply a tip, to having stable clients who paid her a good amount of money to see her strip, masturbate or simply to talk with her, such as “DCDS” her latest stable client.

The man never showed himself in livestreams and she didn’t ask him to, since he didn’t ask her about taking off the mask (some had asked about it, but she had just said that either the mask stayed on or she would have stopped the livestream).

She knew that he was a bit older than her and probably loaded, since money weren’t a problem for him: he would be booking her for entire night and would be more than generous with his tips, and his gentleness had made her feel comfortable enough with him and she had started talking with him about more private matters, such as her unemployment and her anxiety problems.

He hadn’t shown his much of his life, but sometimes they would get into very interesting conversation and she couldn’t help but catch some glimpse of the real DCDS…

She checked her laptop, seeing her cam-blog, and checking how her videos were doing, meanwhile she copied and selected ideas for new ones; she also gave a look to requests and who had booked her for the following week, finally getting in contact with her messages and with DCDS, who had sweetly asked if how her first day of work had gone, after wishing her good luck for her first day.

Since she saw that he was active, she answered quickly, thanking him and saying it was good and they could actually talk, if he didn’t mind it, since she was off livestreams for the day.

“Oh, reserving some special time for me?” he replied, jokingly, meanwhile she just huffed, although her cheeks were red.

At first she had been extremely shy with him, mostly because it was what he paid her for, but also the more confident she got, the more into it she found herself to be in, and slowly she was sure that she had just developed a little crush on a stranger online.

She honestly thought it was crazy: he could be as old as her grandpa or he could have been married, but some part of her told her that he was single; he was extremely flexible with his timeline, mostly at night, even at dinner hours, where you were supposed to be either at dinner with your family or taking care of it.

But she had met some men which were able to watch her livestream with their wives in the room, so…

Still he was so chivalrous and nice and gentle, and he made her feel like a human, not a simple toy to get off to, and maybe he was just playing with her, faking an online persona, but at the same time… she couldn’t help but be into him…

“I am literally falling asleep here, so be quick” she mumbled, meanwhile she got her hair out of her ponytail, brushing them gently with her fingers, meanwhile she put on a pajama and put on her mask, immediately hearing the video-call sound and propping herself on the bed to accept the video-call.

She was greeted with a black screen but a voice was emitted from it, rough and a bit modified, but she recognized it immediately and jokingly screeched “daddy!”, getting a little laugh from the other side.

“At least I know that you are not asleep, little girl” he mumbled, before she giggled a bit, dangling her feet childishly.

“… yeah, but not for long… the first day was literally soooo tiring” you mumbled dramatically, rolling softly your eyes “… but it went better than what I thought”.

“That’s good to hear, and I am sure that it only gets better: the first week is always the worst, you have to establish your way and that can be tough, but once that is settled is easier” he explained with experience, which was something she appreciated since it was never done with arrogance or “I am man and older so I know better”; she appreciated the time he took to help her.

“I really hope that in a week I won’t be running around for photocopies” she mumbled, getting a laugh from him “… please don’t tell me that is what you use interns for…”.

“Sorry, sweetie, it’s complete intern work, alongside the fact that it is honestly better that than having to deal with a group project and its competition” he mumbled, and she let out a breath.

“I just… feel useless” she spouted out, meanwhile she wrapped a hair around a finger “… and my boss is low key strange”.

“Strange? More than the usual?” that got a little laugh out of her.

“She is kind of a stuck-up lady, which I mean… I don’t mind… I kind of admire her, but she has a bit of an obsession with her own boss… which is creepy”.

“Don’t worry, believe me a week and a she’ll let you in peace, that’s what I do with interns” he explained and she couldn’t help but treasure the little news she got about him “… now sleep a bit, beauty of mine”.

He probably saw that her eyes had closed a bit, and still with eyes closed she nodded lightly.

“Good night, babydoll”.


	2. "More Than You Can Give Me"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suddenly all your life is more complicate than you thought and your safe-heaven with DCDS is completely broken by the costant anxiety of work and its stress.
> 
> But you are not the only one who noticed this, bringing everybody to reason on what the hell is going on… and most importantly… what your relationship truly is…

She couldn’t help but be thankful that the weekend had finally arrived.

The entire week had been extremely heavy, although she had to say that she was used to not having a single moment of rest due to the continuous jobs she had taken to pay for college and after she graduated for her own life.

She had taken them for the quick cash she could make, either when camming hit a low point (there had been many at her start: people who were her standard clients suddenly disappeared because her colleague promised more at less, she hadn’t hated the colleague, but couldn’t help but feel a bit insecure about her entire persona) or when she thought about quitting it.

She had never been able to actually stop camming for more than a month, the money always seeming to miss and she preferred to have more than to reduce herself to the last dollar in her bank account, even more when she had been in college and she knew that everything might have been an expanse.

Still, that new job might have made her quit that life once and for all.

… hadn’t it made her go mad before she finished her internship.

In fact, instead of her previous jobs, this one was soul-crushing: she could run everywhere but nothing would satisfy Carla in the slightest.

“The format in these papers is wrong”.

“The coffee is too cold”.

“You didn’t tell the laundry service I would need that thing ready by tomorrow?”.

She couldn’t even breath peacefully without having the woman calling her because something was wrong and she needed her to fix it, no matter whether it was in her competences or not.

She honestly thought about quitting just because her boss was intolerable.

But no, she needed this job: she needed to quit camming so that she could be perceived as a proper member of the society.

She honestly had started camming with all the prejudices of the case, introduced to it by a college roommate, who did some more PG-13 stuff on snapchat, but she needed more money than she would gain just by showing her cleavage through shirts with a big cleavage.

Hence, she had started stripping naked in front of the camera, at first with more insecurities, rejoicing and feeling deeply ashamed for every new client.

At first the money hadn’t come easy and she had had to work hard to raise onto the social stair of camming, even going far out of her comfort zone, starting with the change of her room to a more girlish one, a true DDLG lover room, and although at first it had been a simple investment, she now felt peaceful in that space.

As she felt more comfortable camming.

She had surpassed any prejudice she might have had towards it, mostly due to the fact that she had seen that camming didn’t make you a whore or a social recluse: she had friends who loved her for what she was.

But she didn’t have a boyfriend.

And she hadn’t had a good fuck in century.

Hadn’t she counted the one that she imagined with DCDS.

She twisted through the covers, thinking about the fact that they would have a live session that night and she couldn’t help but think about what he might want her to do, already feeling her panties being wet at the thought of his voice telling her to strip.

But any haze promise of some kind of release from her “sticky situation” down there, was stopped by her phone ringing and she almost fell off the bed, feeling almost as if she had been caught red-handed with her hands in her panties.

She had to calm down before she rushed to answer it, finding out it was Carla.

Was she going to fire her?

“… thank God, (Y/N), you answered on the first ring” she thrilled, desperately happy, as she had never seen her “… I need you to come to the office immediately”.

She couldn’t help but be surprised.

She wasn’t unused to having to work on the weekend, but this time it wasn’t scheduled and she had programmed her own schedule for the day, which involved gym and filming a few videos for her camming channel, since through the entire week she had been able just to make half-asleep lives, and no new video had been released.

Which meant that she hadn’t been able to sell much, lately, and although her bank accounts didn’t cry still, she wanted to have some money if her work at the company didn’t work.

“… right now?” she asked, unable to come up with any reason about why she had to go to the office right that morning “… it is Saturday”.

“I know” Carla’s voice was extremely annoyed “… but you work for the company and for me, hence you come when I tell you so”.

And she threw down the phone in her face, which she was pretty sure violated some fundamental law on the importance of a peaceful workplace.

But she knew all too well, that she couldn’t just call Carla back and tell her that shooting soft porn videos was more important than running around for her.

She thought that Carla probably never had to worry about how she would have to fend for herself, her parents had probably taken care of her for her entire life and she had never had to work with anxiety and the problem of being a college student with no steady income, when no one never seemed to be willing to hire a college student.

She wasn’t bitter about it, but she couldn’t help but feel like it must have been a truly wonderful life.

She quickly got herself dressed, meanwhile she tried to think whether she could record some video on Sunday, where she usually took some time to relax off the camming world, since when she had started she had quickly gone into overdrive and overburn her mental health in favor of shooting more videos.

Her psychologist had simply suggested she took one day off whatever she was doing (she hadn’t told her about the camming world), just for herself, off the socials and off the camming world.

She honestly had to think whether the money she would make from the videos was truly worth it, since she knew that getting some relax was crucial, even more after that hellish week and that unexpected meeting, but at the same time, she desperately needed those money, more because she didn’t know if she could stick around, if Carla went crazy again on another Saturday.

The worst thing was that she couldn’t help but feel useless: she already knew that she would be used that day mostly to run to the printer and for coffee, and she didn’t want this to become her life.

She knew that she was an intern, at the lowest point on the work chain, but at the same time…

… she knew that she deserved more.

And she low key hoped that Carla saw it, sooner than later.

She passed the entire day thinking about a schedule that could allow her on Sunday to shoot a few videos and create a new one for the week so that she wouldn’t have to reduce herself to the weekend, always answering to any question that Carla had for her, just to be ultimately pushed away from the true meeting.

She was picking at her nails, sat at the acceptation desk. when Mr Shepherd walked in, and she rushed to get his coat, since it was what Carla had suggested she did, in case there were some late guests.

Mr Shepherd tried to get her to let him do it, but she just pushed the coat of his shoulder, almost hissing at him to “let her do something, before she went mad with being inactive”.

She immediately realized what she had uttered and most importantly to whom, rushing herself to apologize profusely for speaking out, but Mr Shepherd quickly pushed her to calm down, as e he muttered gently:

“I honestly am surprised that you are here too, I low key thought that it was just a company meeting”.

She hadn’t been able to stop herself from muttering a simple “tell that to Carla”, again speaking out but Mr Shepherd had simply laughed, a very hearty laugh, which had gotten a shy smile from her, the first one of that shitty day, before he went off to the meeting, shooting a final wink at her.

She passed the time from the start of the meeting to the lunch-break, mostly standing at her chair, adjusting her empty desk and running to the nearest coffee shop, if Carla’s guest or colleagues ever needed a coffee.

All time she could have used better, in her opinion.

At lunch-break, right before she was thinking about bailing the entire thing and faking an excuse to go back early at home, since she wasn’t clearly needed and nobody noticed whether she was or was not there, in order to at least go to the gym to release all that pent-up energy of the entire week, imagining the punching ball was Carla’s face, Mr Shepherd rushed to her, quickly stopping her just as she was getting in the elevator.

“I know that today was unscheduled and you probably had better plans…” she had low key hoped that her face hadn’t said too much “damn right, I had better plans” “… what about I take you out for lunch to this cute new restaurant? It’s my treat”.

She honestly was surprised, because although she hadn’t had many interactions with Mr Shepherd, she couldn’t help but feel like he was honestly a true gentleman and he was somebody she could count on, constantly helping her through her mansions, although he had probably a shit ton of other things to do in the meanwhile.

“… I…” she didn’t know how to react, because it was lunch… and it was low key personal, mostly if it was just her and him “… don’t want to disturb you and seriously this is my work…”.

“The fact that this is your work doesn’t mean that sometimes it doesn’t suck” repeated Mr Shepherd, with a look that told her he knew it all too well that sometimes this wasn’t perfect, before smirking lightly “… and please come… I low key get these strange stares whenever I have lunch alone, it’s as if they have never seen a single man, in their life”.

She was pretty sure that it wasn’t because he was single, but mostly because he was single, hot and rich, the triad of the perfect husband.

She didn’t follow gossip tabloids, although she sometimes would end up knowing about the celebrity world, but she knew all too well that Duncan Shepherd was one of the most wanted bachelor of the entire DC, if not of the entire America, due not only to his charm and good-look (which she could testify were absolutely wonderful) but also for his big work network.

She honestly had to say she admired him.

Other than the fact that he was everything that she dreamed for physically, he had been able to get himself up after jail.

She honestly didn’t think that there would have been many men who could have gone through the same thing as him and come back stronger than when they had gone down.

And there was no doubt that it was also linked to the fact that they both carried on their shoulders similar stories of falling and hitting rock bottom just to come back stronger.

“… please, (Y/N)” she was a bit amazed that he actually reminded of her name, and quickly nodded, not really knowing what she had gotten to “… perfect, now follow me, because I don’t know about you but I am famished”.

The little restaurant ended up being a little hipster bar, one of the latest fashion in DC, and although she tried to be extremely cynical about this kind of things , she couldn’t help but appreciate the beautiful minimal setting of the entire place and she was more than glad to discover she wasn’t the only intern there, since she found some of her fellow “colleagues” also having lunch, on the promise of Mr Shepherd paying for them.

But it ended up being just her and Mr Shepherd at the table, since they had small tables, fit only for two people, and every intern seemed to have a match already.

Except her.

Although Mr Shepherd wasn’t in the slightest pretentious or annoying, she couldn’t help but feel a bit intimidated of sharing the table with him, but she soon found herself involved in the conversation, something which wasn’t work related, and that attested Mr Shepherd’s good taste in food.

He suggested her what to choose and meanwhile they waited for the waiter to take their orders the made some small talk about the different restaurants in the area they had tried, mostly with Duncan suggesting his favorite to her.

He had suggested he called her Duncan outside of work, although he had insisted that she called him Duncan during work, since Mr Shepherd made him feel old.

“Please don’t say I am old or I’ll start crying” he had made her laugh out loud, not that she would have said he looked old: he honestly looked much fresher than any guy she had gone on a date with.

“As if being old is a bad thing…” she had simply muttered, thinking he hadn’t heard her, but he had simply smirked, a shit-eating grin that probably got any girl to open his legs for him: she would have, gladly, hadn’t she been so taken by DCDS…

… and hadn’t he been her boss.

(Y/N) focus!

“I really like how your mind works, (L/N)” he uttered, pushing and huffing his chest out as a proud male bird.

His phone screen lighted up for a minute and his gaze immediately moved to it, although his surprised lasted just for one minute before he huffed almost disappointed, clearly expecting a message from somebody else.

And this brought her back to an harsh truth: that morning she had been so busy that she hadn’t talked or answered DCDS’ morning texts!

Immediately almost headbutting the table and excusing herself from Duncan, who didn’t seem to care about it in the slightest a bit distracted by the luminous screen, she went to the toilettes.

There she managed to quickly get an ahold of DCDS’ latest messages, more precisely two: “good morning, beautiful” “how is your day? Are we still on for tonight’s live-chat” and both of them had been sent over a few hours before, enough for her to start panicking pretty badly.

Her anxiety mostly acted up in social situations such as the one she was going through that day, since she was constantly worried of constantly disappointing him.

(And people in general).

She quickly answered that her day was nice, and she said that she hadn’t wanted to ignore him, just had an emergency coming up and knew perfectly well how to make him forgive her.

She was low key glad that she had chosen a dress for that day, needing just to push the skirt up, and lower her tights, revealing her pretty red panties, a complex set of knots and strands hiding the most intimate parts but it was teasing enough to leave a bit to be seen and the rest for his imagination.

“Have a nice day, too, daddy” she added to the picture, before she came back, fixing her appearance, hoping that Duncan hadn’t thought she had been gone for too much.

But as she moved to sit back in the chair, Duncan didn’t seem to even notice her, engrossed by his phone, this time definitely much more satisfied and he blushed a bit when he realized she was in front of him, shaking his head and calming himself, drinking water.

“I have ordered for us, both, by the way” he tried to push the attention away from him, but she simply just smirked at him “… it’s my girlfriend, we are in a long-distance relationship, and it isn’t easy”.

She couldn’t help but “aww” a bit although she felt a bit heartbroken that such a man like him was taken.

The girl with whom he was so taken, must be truly lucky.

“I low key get it” she mumbled, because sometimes her relationship with DCDS felt like a long-distance relationship.

… even if theirs wasn’t a relationship.

“Your boyfriend must be a lucky man” praised her Duncan, making her blush lightly, and was thankfully interrupted by the waiter with their food and she was able to move the conversation onto food, Duncan even going as far as to spoon-feed her some of his food as a joke.

When she returned to work, she couldn’t help but have a happier step, saluting Duncan and thanking him for the nice meal, which he had paid for each of the interns he had gotten to join him.

He had forgone his phone and his girlfriend for the rest of lunch, but as soon as they were both back in the office, she saw him quickly open the phone, smirking all happy to himself.

Her peace was deeply destroyed by Carla’s even more demanding requests, but she couldn’t help but feel a bit even more cherished when DCDS answered her teasing message with a quick smirk and a show of his elegant tailored pants showcasing a big bulge in them, which looked familiar, but she was sure that she had just seen them on Pinterest, on her “rich men” pinboard.

“Be nice, sweetie” he suggested her, before another message hit her, and although she believed that her day couldn’t get bad she soon discovered that it could “… about tonight live, I think that I might need a bit of time off, an emergency came up”.

She couldn’t help but be disappointed, not only because she didn’t have a chance to spend some time with him anymore, but also because it seemed fake: she, herself, had justified her absence with an emergency, and the fact that he had used the same excuse didn’t seem convincing enough for her.

It almost seemed as a revenge for her lateness in replying.

And anxiety came back, coursing through her veins.

She was extremely thankful that she was able to leave work early because also Carla realized that she wasn’t useful anymore (she was sure that Duncan had hinted to his colleague about her needing some sleep).

She tried to keep up the conversation, asking DCDS if she had done something wrong.

“Hey, no, lovely, don’t get your pretty head worried, it’s a very personal emergency and I don’t want to worry you” he replied in a minute, before going off the camming channel, and she was just able to wish him goodnight, suggesting that they could settle up a new day, but getting no response.

Gym was helpful to get her mind off the entire thing, alongside meeting up with an old friend to the cinema, since her night schedule was cleared, but the feeling that she had didn’t lessen or go away, it was almost as if they had gone through a couple fight, although they hadn’t…

… and they weren’t a couple.

He was allowed to have his dark and shadowy moments.

(But he usually shared them with her).

And she couldn’t feel responsible for them.

She wasn’t a fucking charity.

Neither his girlfriend.

But still she didn’t feel comfortable going to sleep, without his “good night”.

How would it all feel once she was off this world and didn’t £chat” with him anymore.

Would it hurt more and less than it already did?

She pushed away the thought.

Just for that night she would dream a bit more about the fantasy that they could be together, for more than a video-chat.

* * *

Duncan didn’t know how he got into this.

Well he knew how he did: he had taken his car to the nearest exclusive club, the one that older men and women preferred to have a drink at the end of a busy and successful week and he had dragged his old ass onto the nearest barstool, ordering whiskey, meanwhile he scanned the crowd in search of the lucky girl.

But what he truly meant was how he could have preferred this to talking with his lovely muse?

Heavenly and him were supposed to have a live-chat, but during all this week she had been pretty busy, mostly due to the newest work, which was going well from all she told him, except for the crazy bossy, but who hadn’t had one?

He knew it was silly for him to be actually jealous or annoyed by the fact that they didn’t spend more time together: for her it was a job, just a temporary one and he was glad she had job which paid her well and more regularly and allowed her to keep her clothes on.

(Was he a bit jealous of the others that got to see her naked, during her lives? Absolutely).

But this had also brought him to the realization that for her it was a job.

She might have been gracious and sweet with him, playing and acting the role of Heavenly, but he was a client and she was an entertainer, working for him and his money.

He had realized that, instead, for him it had become more, much deeper than he had thought possible and the knowledge that she didn’t feel the same way was crushing him, the more they “spent time” with her.

Hence, he needed a new distraction.

Sex had been what had made him seek her out, so if he somehow managed to fill that hole which craved human connection and pleasure, he would have been able to think less about the emotional side with Heavenly, if not rupture their link once and for all, before she was the one to break his heart.

He still hated the club area.

Then he saw a woman, around his age, looking at him in and twirling the little cherry in her martini, but thankfully she didn’t show any other recognition of him and he was more than happy to lead her to the toilette for a quick fuck.

He tried to focus on the entire thing, but as soon as he got between her legs, he couldn’t help but think about how much he had always wished to eat Heavenly out.

He had a good imagine of her cunt due to her videos and he couldn’t help but act onto the unknown woman as he would with her: at first kissing up her thighs, teasing her gently before he huffed warm breath on her folds, feeling them twitch lightly, meanwhile she trembled under him.

“… relax, sweetheart” he commented, and before she knew it, he had licked broadly her folds, a moan immediately leaving the woman’s mouth, a bit different from Heavenly, but he could work with that, pushing himself closer and closer, helping himself with his fingers to spread her labia revealing her little pearl, which he gently caressed with the tip of his thumb.

The roughness of his pad was soothed by his plump lips, which started sucking onto it, meanwhile his fingers pushed themselves in her, alternating between a softer rhythm and deeper sucking, and a faster rhythm and a more lazy play of lips, which then moved to collect her wetness, tasting her juices.

Her cunt shone with them, and his beard was completely drenched, something he didn’t mind, because of the reaction he got out of her was enough to make him lose his own mind and he rubbed himself subtly between his pants.

She came as he curled his fingers in her, meanwhile he suckled harshly her clit, not letting her go till she had ridden off any last wave of her orgasm, finally letting himself come up between her thighs and expecting a different face.

It wasn’t that the woman’s face was ugly or anything, but for the entire time he had been between her legs he had imagined somebody else.

Completely ruining the reason behind his try to forget Heavenly.

He tried not to get too desperate, turning the woman so that her back could hit his chest and he penetrated her harshly from behind.

He tried to focus on the sensations going through his body, thrusting harshly and grabbing her hair, not that she seemed to mind, asking for more and praising him, something that strangely became a turn-off for him.

He couldn’t help but shift from images of Heavenly to this unknown woman, losing his mind in confusion and soon his thrust lost any interest and he felt himself growing soft, unexcited by the thought and unable to focus.

He retracted himself and exited the woman who turned around on trembling legs to face him confused.

“I thought you were having as much fun as I was” she mumbled, confused, trying to understand what was going and adjust the dress that Duncan had pushed up to start the quickie.

“I am sorry, it is not just a good period” he tried to justify himself, quickly tucking himself in, meanwhile he helped the woman up, who smirked slightly at him, as if she understood what was going on.

“That’s what my husband told me, before he ran away with his secretary” she replied, meanwhile she pushed her panties up “… I know a busy man when I met one”

“I am sorry” he winced, trying to decide whether he should have hugged her, patted her shoulder, given her some money…

… ok maybe not that, it might be considered offending.

“… oh, sweetie don’t worry, it has been so so long since I had such a mind-blowing orgasm” she pushed herself away from him rather quickly, before she moved towards the exit, stopping to clean her hands “… she is one hell of a lucky girl”.

Had she been just as real as her, he would have been the lucky one.

* * *

Nothing had actually helped her from distracting from the knowledge that DCDS had dumped her for one night.

“Get a grip, (Y/N)” she had mumbled to herself, meanwhile she restarted for the third time a video for the cam-channel “… you are not Julia Roberts and he isn’t Richard Gere”.

He was much more handsome than Richard.

She managed to film a few videos, mostly the role-play ones, because she got into her role and avoided talking about him.

But alone at night, holding her favorite stuffed animal, the little bat DCDS had gotten her for her birthday, she was unable to stop herself from being a bit shaken by the thought that DCDS had indeed, dumped her.

Maybe he had met someone prettier than her, either online or outside of it, and he had never felt a slight bit of what she had felt for him.

Gosh, they hadn’t even seen each other.

She should have honestly calmed down, because she was not only overreacting, but it was getting her anxious and unfocused which wasn’t good for her health, in the slightest.

Her phone shined, and the little noise of the notification broke the silence of the room and she rushed to grab it from the spot where it was charging alone, and immediately brightened as she saw it was DCDS.

… with an unusual request.

“Can we talk?” he had written to her.

“I have work tomorrow, so I am sad but there’ll be no camming today, daddy” she wanted to sound both professional and intelligent, but also she wanted to let him know that she had missed him, and that she was a tiny bit pissed with him…

“It won’t last long, (Y/N)” he replied, immediately, and not only the fact that he had used her real name worried her, but the suddenness with which he had replied, it was almost as if he had something serious to say.

No playful teasing or use of pet names.

“Ok, just wait I am setting up something” a myriad of thoughts went to her head, meanwhile the telltale stomachache started bothering her, alongside a sudden difficulty of breathing that always appeared when she felt anxious, which she tried to shake off breathing deeply and holding her hands tightly, till her nails sank in her palms.

She waited to be comfortable, brushing her hair behind and trying to collect herself to look at her prettiest. Although she looked like a sloth, who had just exited the shower.

She then started the video-chat and was welcomed with a black screen.

“Hey daddy!” she welcomed him, but his silence was rather unwelcoming.

“… hey, sweetheart” his voice seemed even more muffled and rough “…I think we need to quit this”.

* * *

Duncan hadn’t had the best night ever.

He couldn’t stop seeing her almost crying and shaking figure, meanwhile she begged him not to leave her.

But he had been unmovable: he just couldn’t keep this on, mostly to the extent it had reached, completely sabotaging his life, because of a relationship he had started online.

He was in love with her, but she was just meant to please him.

When she had said that she hadn’t wanted to leave him, she just hadn’t wanted an affectionate client to leave her.

A well-paying client.

But most importantly she would be going on from her can-world life and she would move onto becoming a brilliant worker and an intelligent and creative lady, he knew it.

But she wouldn’t need him.

She definitely didn’t need him, in the long run.

And he couldn’t honestly deal with the rejection that would come at that point.

So, he had to cut the root before it grew into a poisonous and sick plant

It hurt him much more than he cared to admit and the thought that she wouldn’t be smiling for him, calling him daddy jokingly, comforting him after a long day made his day so much worse, but he low key hoped that not only work could help him shift his attention but also that with time it would get better.

He had to basically almost get Carla to wake him up that morning, since he felt so shitty.

But he wasn’t the only one, he thought, as he stepped in front of the coffee machine, finding the new cute intern, trying to get it working by staring at it intensely with a half-awake look that got him to laugh a bit.

“Did you develop some kind of Jedi trick that I am not getting?” he teased her softly.

He honestly found her newness endearing, alongside her determination to make everything that she was given into something awesome, definitely wanting to satisfy a never-satisfied Carla, which he couldn’t help but admire deeply.

But he also found endearing her sweetness and naivety: it was something he wasn’t used so she couldn’t help but already feel some kind of connection with the new intern.

Who swiftly raised her head, with unfocused eyes, before she realized with whom she was talking and immediately straightened up, sniffling a bit, a sign that didn’t go unnoticed to Duncan.

“Hey… I am sorry… I didn’t mean…” that poor girl had had a horrible weekend, he was sure of it with the way she flinched slightly at his words, clearly not having gained enough sleep that night, which got Duncan to soften quite a bit “… I am an asshole sorry, I have had a shitty weekend, too”.

“Tell me about it” she mumbled, smiling sadly and pushing the button to get her coffee, meanwhile Duncan slumped against the coffee machine.

“I broke up with my girlfriend”.

He didn’t know why he felt so comfortable with her, enough to reveal about his “secret girlfriend”.

He hadn’t talked about her not even with Carla, who was supposed to be his second of command.

But with the new intern he couldn’t help but feel at ease, probably due to her sweetness and the way she always seemed to able to brighten a little.

Even when she was feeling sad.

“… that is awful” she muttered, with that soft tone that didn’t ask for anything more but offered to hear about it all “… also… the person I was talking to also dumped me”.

He couldn’t believe the coincidences: truly one in a million.

And even sadder, although he felt extremely understood, gently patting her shoulder.

“I am sorry to hear that” he mumbled, and she just shook off her shoulder, although he couldn’t help but notice the little shake that took over her body.

“I think that it was doomed to happen” she replied, her eyes hiding a nostalgy that spoke to him greatly “… we were growing apart for work problematics and other problems, so it was better to cut it before it got too painful…”.

And this made him wonder whether what he had done with Heavenly was the same as this asshole had done with the girl, hurting her as (Y/N).

But he couldn’t go back to it.

“… I am sorry to hear that, but…” he didn’t know what to mutter “… I don’t think that there is a better saying in these things than that time can help forget and everything will be healed someday”.

She simply gave him again that smile, enigmatic as if she was truly hiding something.

He low key hoped that she would share it, but at the same time, not only she was his employee, but he didn’t want to pressure her too much.

“… and also, alcohol is useful in these cases” he muttered, making her giggle, a truly pretty sound that made him for a single minute focus on it, and forget about anything.

And then the thought of Heavenly smiling so prettily made him choke a bit and he went off, wishing her a good day.

Time would heal anything.

… he hoped.

Although she had found work to be exhausting at first, now she couldn’t help but feel grateful for it, since it helped her take off her mind from her latest talk with DCDS, the one where he had “broken up with her” …

… although they had never been a couple.

“I feel like I can’t go on with this” he had muttered, meanwhile she felt her heart sink to the ground.

“What do you mean?” she had replied immediately “… if I have made you feel bad I am sorry, life since work started has been hectic…”.

“It isn’t that, lovely” he had cut her off, signaling that there was no chance for her to go back at that.

To make him change his mind.

“… I just feel like we are better off each other”.

Those were the most painful words she had ever heard and after the call had ended, after he had told her about how he always would always treasure their moments, would be paying for another month and that he would have unsubscribed soon her channel, in order to leave her alone, she couldn’t help but replay them over and over in her head, getting no sleep, from that mantra.

He was sorry, but it was better this way.

In the end she had mechanically nodded, closed the conversation and almost making her new computer fall to the ground, she had pushed herself between her pillows, her body shaking lightly, meanwhile the sensation of almost passing out clouded her mind, as her breathing became shallow, and she had to remind herself to take deep breaths, meanwhile she tried to hold onto something, her fingers becoming slightly frigid.

The tension in her muscles, had brought them to ache, meanwhile she had been unable to move from her curled position, staring the roof, as she gripped the sheets, till they ripped off the secure hold of the mattress.

Then she had thrown them to the ground: her computer hitting it with a sordid clank she hadn’t cared too much, meanwhile she had dug her fingers into the mattress, as if she had wanted to destroy it, but it hadn’t worked because eventually exhaustion got to her, and she fell asleep, with dreams of tormented lost and unable of completely relaxing her muscles, she had woken up with them aching.

They were so rigid that he had been unable to even raise a leg to get out till she had managed to relax them slightly.

She had gone that Monday morning to work, feeling like she had some kind of proverbial “black cloud” onto her head, as a crown and it happened to follow her everywhere, although, this time, she was thankful for Carla’s constant nagging, since it helped her feel actually useful and avoid thinking about the dread that she felt in her heart.

Even after DCDS’ discourse, she was unable to do anything else than wonder where she had gone wrong.

What she could have done better.

What she could have changed.

Overthinking anything to the oblivion.

By the end of the week, as she was getting ready to leave, Carla had stopped her to let her know that next week she would be starting to work as an official employee there, since she had found her extremely perfect for that role, going as far as to even wink slightly at her.

She had just wished to go back home, thanking Carla for the notice, and thinking that she could celebrate it with some take-away and wondering about the serious option of quitting camming: she had landed a nice job, and her boss was happy with her.

She didn’t have neither the joy of DCDS anymore, so she didn’t even feel interested into private chats, and she neither had a lot of time to waste on videos.

Time that would be well-spent onto pampering her and sleeping it off.

(But the truth was that she could have slept even eight hours, but she would have still woken up with tears in her eyes and tired).

(She knew it was a bit excessive for a stranger).

(But apparently that stranger had owned her heart).

She honestly had thought to also give a month notice on her channel, before her closing, in order to cash in some more money, for emergency.

She would then delete all her videos, so that there would be no legal proof of what she had done, in those years.

She knew that it wasn’t so easy for it to be completely away from her life and deleted from all the world, but it certainly made her feel a bit better and safer.

She was thinking about this, when a big pat on her shoulder almost got her out of the chair she was sat at, turning around to find an extremely happy Duncan.

She honestly had to admit that the man had helped her quite a bit, during those hard times, probably because he was also a member of the “broken-hearted club” so he would be checking in on her with the excuse of having to run some kind of exams with her, alongside bringing her coffee, when he saw her dozing off, with a gentleness that she didn’t think that the great Duncan Shepherd owned.

But he was quite charming.

And more down to Earth than she had expected.

“Oh, I heard about you being one of us, now” he uttered, with an extremely proud tone, which made her blush “… although I had no doubts it would happen, since you are quite amazing”.

“Do you say this to all your interns?” she shot back, meanwhile she closed her bag, putting it across her body and gently grabbing her keys, since she had to close the entire thing, with Duncan and her being the last people in there.

“Only the cute ones, who knows how I take my coffee” he joked, meanwhile she left the keys at the desk, for the cleaning ladies of the night turn “… and I was thinking we should celebrate it”.

“Oh” she didn’t know how professional it would be considered for her to hang alongside him in these cases; it was one thing to joke with him to relieve the stress and her sadness, but she didn’t know if she was ready… for that.

Alongside him being her boss.

“I made you uncomfortable” he realized, and she tried to avoid showing it on her face “… it wasn’t my intention”.

“I just don’t want to seem unprofessional” she mumbled, looking at her toes, meanwhile she toyed with her bag.

“Hey! I was the one who invited you out, because I am not going to lie but this week has been hellish and I need a drink, and you know I would avoid the stares ‘is he an alcoholic or not?’ with somebody by my side” he explained, his tone a bit fast-paced as if he was nervous “… but if you feel even slightly uncomfortable…”.

“Am I your beard against alcoholism?” she made fun of him, slightly relieved a bit by the fact that he was nervous too and surprised by Duncan gentlemanly offering her his arms, looking at her with a smirk.

“Isn’t that a wonderful title?”.

She was at her third shot of tequila when she started feeling them.

Duncan had been the one to insist that she challenged “the old man” to a drinking challenge, since he had promised her that he wouldn’t take advantage of her drunken state.

“I honestly think that it is more possible the contrary” she had muttered as Duncan had started dangling a bit onto the bar chair, and she had had to try to steady him, after his second shot.

“Are you going to take advantage of me, (L/N)? That’s mobbing” he replied, extremely serious, before he ended up gifting her with a genuine smile, a pretty rare sight, since he had been onto his most nostalgic side the entire week, but she didn’t protest against it.

He looked extremely handsome.

They ended up goofing around till Duncan’s fifth shot and her seventh, since someone had offered to buy her some and she hadn’t been able to refuse it, although Duncan had protectively slung an arm over her to make sure they understood she was “taken” and wouldn’t go anywhere.

After their last round they were helped by Duncan’s private driver into his car and she had accidentally pushed herself a bit, ending up closer than what she might think would have been considered proper, but Duncan didn’t seem to mind, leaning in into the warmth, his nose smoothing onto her hair, skimming gently her ear.

She instructed the driver where he could leave her but as she moved to exit the car, Duncan came with her, as if attracted by her warmth and she giggled a bit, exchanging with the driver a slight glance, shaking her head, meanwhile she moved to get out, trying to get Duncan to move away, but before she knew it…

… his lips were onto her, and she suddenly was kissing her boss.

And it was a damn-good kiss.

She had to admit that she hadn’t had many experiences lately, mostly due to the fact that sadly she had been too invested into the virtual world to care about a relationship.

But most importantly to have a relationship with a sex worker wasn’t something everyone would accept, and she refused to be ashamed and lie about her life with her “one true love”.

Call her a romantic.

She finally realized who she was kissing, and immediately backed off, meanwhile she pushed him slightly to get themselves separated, as the driver turned his face towards the window of the car, knowing all too well what to do in these cases.

But as she gained some kind of common sense, she pushed herself up on her shaky feet, grabbing her bag and rushing away from the car almost as if she was followed.

Her heart didn’t stop beating till she fell onto the bed, letting herself breath slowly, meanwhile she tried to make sense about what happened.

And whether he would remember it the following night.

He was too drunk she hoped.

But as she fell asleep, touching her lips softly, for the first time since the “break-up”, she dreamt lovingly.

Dreaming perfectly about those lips kissing her again and again.

It felt almost as if she had seriously met DCDS.

* * *

He hadn’t realized what he had done till (Y/N) had pushed him away, in her eyes the fear of a scared animal.

He couldn’t blame her.

But in the hazy fumes of wine he couldn’t help but imagine her to be Heavenly, the similarity breathtaking now that he was a bit hazed down by whatever he had drunk.

(And she had definitely drunk him under the table).

And he had thought she had come for him, now in bones and skin, warm skin and tempting flesh he wanted to caress and he did, brushing softly his lips against hers, at first gently and then with much more force, feeling her coming alive under him.

But then he had felt himself being pushed away, and he had opened his eyes to discover it wasn’t Heavenly, although she was similar.

Maybe it was to Heavenly he thought she was similar.

And then he had realized that he had just messed everything up.

He told Riley to drive him home and he was able to sober up a bit on the ride there enough that he reached his apartment without trembling and found himself completely able to identify what he had done, with a cold mind.

If she didn’t report him for that.

He still couldn’t help but think that it would have gotten him into quite some trouble due to his reckless behavior, although he seriously hadn’t done it because it was her.

Not that he hadn’t found her attractive.

But his thoughts had all gone to Heavenly.

And they kept on going now.

Whatever had happened with (Y/N) was a sign that his decision of breaking it off with Heavenly was such a bad idea and he couldn’t just handle it.

For the first time in that week he allowed himself to think that he had done the worst decision of his life and let himself cry, meanwhile he stumbled onto every piece of furniture he could catch in his kitchen rushing to the little table in the sitting room where his laptop was waiting.

He rushed to switch it up, quickly entering in his profile on the cam channel and rushing to his favorites, where there was just one name.

He knew it was a shitty move and that it would have just given him a momentary relief, but he couldn’t just get drunk and push himself onto his colleagues.

And more importantly he desperately needed just a little relief, just to hear her.

But as he rushed to the chat option, he found himself in the main page, where a notice was being shown in an angry red color.

His drunken eyes took him a bit to adapt themselves to read the message, but when he did, he found his sight hazed by tears.

Heavenly had just announced that in a month she would be deleting the account.

The shittiest timing ever.

The following day she had tried to avoid Duncan as if he had the plague.

But it didn’t seem to work, mostly because he was her boss so eventually, he was able to goad her into a more private place, insisting on her checking something he had written, since he trusted her more with “this kind of things”.

They ended up in an empty computer lab, which they usually used for courses, but that wasn’t used in any other way, that day.

Duncan made sure it wasn’t, checking it with a quick look, to make sure nobody was in it, before he moved inside, quickly followed by her with red cheeks.

Yesterday she had kissed her boss and now she was sneaking in closed places with him: it was definitely inappropriate.

But Duncan didn’t make her uncomfortable keeping his distance with her, something for which she was thankful.

“I just wanted to apologize for yesterday” he mumbled, this time it was him who wasn’t facing her, and he was the one who had had a bad night, apparently, from the bad under his pretty eyes “… it was rather inappropriate for me to do that and the fact that I sadly was drunk isn’t in the slightest an excuse… and I’ll totally understand if you want to report me…”.

She didn’t know whether she should have laughed or teared up, since she had been pretty sure that Duncan would have fired her.

So, she simply replied with an open mouth, till she realized it might make her pass off as an idiot, simply adjusting her reply as:

“I am not going to report you”.

Duncan huffed a breath of relief and smirked softly at her.

“I am very sorry, still and please let me know if I can do anything” his tone was fast paced again, definitely more nervous “… it’s just this break-up took a very heavy toll on me”.

She smirked softly at him, holding out a hand for him to take, gently brushing her thumb against his palm.

It was enough for him to brighten up a bit, and gently pat again her shoulder as he always did to show his support and gentleness.

And then his phone beeped lightly, alongside hers a clear sign that Carla requested them both and their hands untangled themselves from each other to reach in their pockets, quickly finding their own phones and then rushing out, joking and laughing softly, although there was still some edge of embarrassment…

… and maybe something more.

But the hurt that plagued both their minds shadowed it a bit.

They were supposed to attend a reunion, Carla welcoming them and ushering them inside, rushing her words enough that she was unable to understand the theme of that reunion, alongside who the people attending it were.

But she knew from the expensive clothes that they were rich and important.

“Thank you for coming today” smirked Carla and somehow a bad feeling hit her gut, but she tried to calm it down, sitting next to Duncan who sent her a nice look, one that said ‘you are between us, because you deserve it’, but she couldn’t help but feel slightly nervous, although all the attention was focused on Carla “… I just thought that since we are all supposed to be working with each other soon, we should know each other well”.

“It’s a simple game: we move around and we say something we are good at…”.

Everyone seemed confused but the game started, and everyone shared something.

Someone was good at doing math, others at cooking and others even revealed some pretty funny talents, so she was relaxed when it came to her, but Carla stopped her, smirking maliciously at her.

Before she could open her mouth, Carla moved to grab a remote, immediately switching on the smart TVs all around the room, and before she knew it, images of her as Heavenly Brat appeared on the screen, the similarity evident now that they were in the same room.

She was unable to move, frozen on the spot, meanwhile everyone’s attention rushed to her, smirking and malicious glances were sent her way, some were even shocked.

And then Duncan slowly turned to her, his eyes dark and confused, as if he was somehow linking all the dots.

And it was too much.

She raised and ran away, unable to think that right when she had wanted out of all that…

… the past had come back and ruined her present.

What a shitty timing.


	3. More Than I Hoped For

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a public ‘coming out’ of your profession as a camgirl, you might have earned more than what you had lost.

Duncan’s mind was finally able to link finally why you were so familiar.

You were Heavenly Brat.

You had always been the ‘digital girl’ he had been in love with.

And you had just been exposed in front of a room of important executives by your boss, which was also his co-partner in the new project he had created.

He had solve the entire process.

Or that’s what his overworked brain told him to do.

He smirked at the executors and investors, as he raised up to get to a smiling Carla, probably thinking that she had come out of this victorious and, grabbing her roughly by her arms, he brought her to a separate and more private room.

“What the fuck did you do, Carla?” because it was a low hit, even if the girl in the picture hadn’t been his Heavenly.

“… what you should have done from the start” she retorted, her smile breaking a bit for a harsher expression, crossing her arms onto her chest “… we don’t hire porn stars in here!”.

“She is a camgirl…” mumbled Duncan under his breath, but Carla didn’t seem to care and continued with her ‘villain monologue’.

“I ran some background check once I saw the way she was latching onto you, extremely unprofessionally by the way” she explained, something resembling a mix of annoyance and jealousy shining in her eyes, which had narrowed as if they had to focus on the discourse properly “… I found her pretty ass being shaken for money on a site, can you imagine what would have happened if some of our investors had also recognized her? It would have been a fucking disaster!”.

“And you thought exposing her to an entire room of executives and investors would have been better?! That’s fucking awful publicity!” shot back Duncan and Carla seemed a bit taken aback from his tone, but her gaze just grew angrier.

“… I thought that it was better that we were the one to throw out the trash, than to let some tabloid handle it” she replied as if she hadn’t shattered the life of a wonderful girl, by simply letting a prejudice cloud her way.

And something more, if her eyes spoke the truth.

“… you should have asked me, I don’t approve of what you did” he tried to keep his tone steady, because he didn’t want to make a scene and right now he couldn’t help but think about you, about what this all would mean for your career: in the room more than half of the people there were influential and this might have been rather dangerous for you image, not to talk about the fact that it would have made finding a new job… hellish “… you don’t know why that girl chose that career, you know nothing about her”.

“And you do?” Carla’s question slapped him straight in the face, because it was partially true.

He knew nothing about you, or better: he knew you, partially.

Both the part of Heavenly Brat and the part of (Y/N).

He just needed to piece them together, although they seemed two completely different lives.

Carla’s stance seemed to soften as she realized she had hurt him, and she came close to him, daring a hand under his chin.

“I saw the way you looked at her, Duncan… you were slowly starting to like her, more than it was allowed” her words were true: he had liked you, both as Heavenly and as (Y/N) “… but I did you a favor, she would have been another fucking social climber. She would have taken your money and run away”.

“… and you would have wanted me, even without my money” Duncan’s voice was now steady and he added a special softness to it “You thought I owed you something, because you were always by my side, you protected me from everything and everyone, didn’t you”.

Carla blushed and nodded lightly, her body coming close to his and Duncan just backed lightly, suddenly his eyes flaming with some kind of anger.

“You did everything to keep me isolated and to make me feel awful so that you could have me” his voice now was unbreaking and unflinching and Carla looked at him confused “… you destroyed the life of a girl, who did nothing to you except daring to catch my eyes, just… because you wanted me”.

“I love you, Duncan” she uttered, a simple stolen breath, but her eyes were vacant as if she had convinced herself that those words were true.

But in her mind… they didn’t seem to appear.

“No. you don’t” he turned his back “… you would have been happy for me to have found someone else, to have felt better after my entire world had fallen onto my shoulder. You would have been different from the flock of women that follow me, thinking that they can cure what is broken”.

He turned to her one last time.

“I was never broken, I was never a failure, I was never a simple puppet” he mumbled and then his hand went to the door’s handle and he pushed it to open it “… and you are fired, Carla, this is not a behavior we accept in our company”.

“I am your fucking partner! I helped you created every fucking thing here!” she shouted, decidedly wanting to make a scene.

“I know about the money you stole, the true reason why you didn’t want a secretary and if your father wants to come here and play the big boss with me, I’ll tell him all the awful things his little daughter did” and he got his phone out of his pocket “… I have a list, photos and proofs. A lion without fangs is still a lion, my dear, never ever fucking forget it”.

Carla seemed shocked that he had caught her financial hoaxes.

He had discovered them after he had been looking through the true reason why she wouldn’t accept any secretary, he didn’t simply believe that she was ‘that’ picky.

He had looked through some files and discovered that she had been stealing some money from the organization no-profit that belonged to her sector and that a secretary wouldn’t have been dumb enough not to recognize that she was cheating the system.

One of the previous secretaries had also pointed out to him where to look, since they had been shocked by some of Carla’s problematic behaviors.

He had collected enough material to know each and everything about her, enough to fire her.

He hadn’t.

He had thought that he needed Carla.

She was brilliant and intelligent, and he had worshipped their friendship, because it had helped him out of a dark period.

The suggestion of the project had helped him raise.

And he was grateful for that.

That was why he was giving her the clean termination she hadn’t given to (Y/N).

(Y/N) might have been ‘not the ideal girl’ for her, but she had never cheated on Duncan ‘that way’.

“That isn’t fucking fair! I’ll fucking call all my lawyers!” shouted Carla, almost slamming in him as she exited.

“Let them come at me, and I’ll go the FBI with the papers that prove your illicit business, they actually know me well enough to know when I am lying and I am not”.

Carla froze on the spot, her Stuart Weitzman’s boots stopping their clicking as she turned to Duncan, her eyes a bit teary.

“You want war? I’ll give you war”.

She turned again and with less dignity than before she moved to the exit of their offices and when the door closed the applauses started, alongside with some employees muttering and singing ‘the wicked witch of east is dead’.

He would have gladly celebrated with his co-workers, but he had a girl’s reputation to save.

* * *

You had run till the subway but the simple thought of going under the ground made your stomach flinch and you had thought about taking a bus home or better a taxi, although you should have started saving again since you were without a job.

Carla hadn’t properly said that you were fired, but you didn’t feel like putting a foot in those offices again, after your career as a camgirl had been exposed, and worse of all, to a room full of important business men who now wouldn’t have hired you, anymore.

Not to talk about the fact that if some of them reported the news it could have made it to some newspapers.

‘Secretary in one of the most important business offices of Washington DC, porn star by night’.

That title would have sold.

But what was worse than the thought of the future, was the constant paranoia that, now that you had been outed, that somebody could recognize you.

Men smiled at you gently, although it appeared to hid something dirty under the particular quick of their mouth, meanwhile women looked at you as if they were judging you, as everybody knew what you had been doing and that was enough to think of you as nothing more than an ‘whore’.

Somebody who should have been simply used for pleasure.

You shouldn’t have terminated the account.

You knew that you still might manage to reopen it, although you would have to work a bit hard to regain the followers you had lost these days, but…

… but you had almost made it out.

You had almost had a job that made you feel good and that didn’t make you strip for it.

You had almost had anything.

Something that also chased you was the thought of Duncan: the way he had looked at you as the video had dropped.

He hadn’t sent you an unbelieving gaze or a knowing smirk, so suggestive that it had made you throw up, but it seemed like realization had dawned upon on him, but he had remained paralyzed as he had been stuck onto his chair.

The thought that he also might judge you as a ‘whore’ shook you enough to finally let tears run free against your face.

This suggested you finally to pick up your phone and call somebody.

Your therapist picked up after the second ring and immediately welcomed you with her nice voice.

‘Hey (Y/N)! Is something wrong with our last appointment?” she asked, since you didn’t usually call her, unless you had some kind of problems and had to change your session.

“… ahem… no no” you knew that your tone wasn’t able to hide your sadness and you could almost swear that you could picture your therapist shifting lightly “… I just… I might need an appointment right now”.

“You know where my office is” she replied with a little smile in her tone and you smiled a bit through the tears.

Half an hour later (in the end you had chosen to take a taxi) you were in your therapist office, she had left you to collect yourself meanwhile she adjusted your coat in her small wardrobe.

She then returned and sat down in front of you, as you shifted lightly in the chair.

You were almost nervous about confessing her what had happened, but it was already out… so it wasn’t something that you could hold in yourself anymore.

“I used to be a camgirl” you blurted out, fidgeting with your hand on your lap.

And then your eyes moved to your therapist, trying to understand what she thought of you now that she knew.

But she held that same seraphic expression that didn’t let anything pass.

She, instead, let you speak, because unwillingly you had opened a Pandora’s vase.

An hour after you were home.

The therapist had insisted on giving you a ride home, after everything you had told her.

She had been extremely gentle with you, but not giving you any pity, for which you were grateful, alongside the way she had helped you regain a bit of calmness after the stressful day you had had.

You had explained the awful day you had been having, the way Carla had exposed you and the way you were sure you had lost any ounce of respect that Duncan Shepherd had ever had for you.

‘The fact is that it isn’t others that control our respect, sweetie’ she had mumbled, then ‘… respect never leaves us as long as we know our worth’.

‘Is there any worth in being a camgirl?’ you had asked, obvious sarcasm dripping in your voice.

‘I think that there is so much worthy in getting up from a bad fall, in each way possible and getting through it enough to have a stable life’ she had explained, talking about your journey after anxiety and being disowned by your own family ‘… it might not have been a conventional life, but nobody has the right to make you feel less for how you choose to get up’.

‘Doc, did you just quote Grey’s Anatomy?’ you had joked, and she had winked at you.

‘See… everybody has a guilty pleasure’.

Although you still couldn’t help but be a little ashamed of the entire ‘office accident’ (and were determined to get Carla reported for abusing her powers and violating your privacy) you definitely felt a bit better.

Your mind refused to think about anything past dinnertime and you eventually relented to going grocery shopping for dinner, although your mind wanted to do nothing more than to hide under the cover of your bed, till eventually you grew old and grey under there.

But your stomach wouldn’t let you.

At the little grocery store you had near to your house (completely overpriced, by the way) you couldn’t still shake off the thought of people staring at you, because they knew of your ‘dirty little secret’.

(‘Stop calling it that’ you had muttered under your breath, remembering your therapist’s speech about keeping your head high).

And you had to admit that you had glared annoyedly at a poor old lady, simply asking you to reach to something for her.

(Maybe you should have gotten checked also for paranoia, old ladies, all around, would probably be glad).

You had collected enough for your comfort food, simple and quick to execute, alongside an insane amount of sweets.

You were munching onto one of said snacks, when you came face to face with Duncan, waiting right onto your gate.

You thought about turning back and running away.

But no, you had to hold up your head and telling him where he could shove any insult he might have for you.

Although you low key hoped it wouldn’t have come to that.

He turned his head to you as, in the middle of giving yourself that motivational speech, you almost tripped in the grocery bags that had been hanging from your arms.

He immediately ran close to you, which was a sight that brought your heart to clench tightly.

Hadn’t you been so infatuated with DCDS, you would have head fallen over heels with Duncan, you could already feel a beginning of a crush, which you needed to stomp onto till it burned your whole heart.

“Hey, easy” he joked, graciously grabbing one of the bags from your hands “… wouldn’t want to make all that chocolate go to waste”.

You blushed, almost embarrassed he had discovered of your obsession, but resolved to get to the point.

“… what are you doing, here, Mr. Shepherd?” he seemed shocked by your professional tone, almost hurt and you wondered if he hadn’t simply come to check on you.

Wait… why would he care to do such?

You were a simple intern.

A simple intern he had kissed.

And he had almost made you forget about DCDS.

“I… I know this is very awkward but…” and then the first drop of water started falling on you, although you dismissed it lightly, thinking it was either humidity or sweat.

But you weren’t able to dismiss it anymore as it become a full blow storm, and although your rational brain told you not to let in Duncan, you pushed him to enter your house, knowing that everything was better than standing in the middle of a sudden ‘hurricane’.

“C’mon! Can’t have my chocolate, if it is drenched” you had mumbled and let him in of your small apartment “It isn’t a DC penthouse, but I guess you can experience the true fury of the nature outside”.

“I am just…” he seemed to be at loss of words, lately today “… thank you, (Y/N)”.

You just nodded and avoided him, with the excuse to put away the groceries and when you came back, he had shed both the coat he wore and the jacket, remaining in his elegant and finished shirt.

The touch that definitely killed you was the fact that he had rolled up his sleeves, revealing some pretty interesting and muscled arms, and a little tattoo.

A little black swallow, a result of a pick-n-poke tattoo, probably gotten in prison, but it seemed dangerously familiar to you, although you couldn’t quite place where you had last seen it.

“Would you like a cup of tea, Mr. Shepherd?” you asked, not knowing properly what to do in these cases, and a bit flustered by the fact that Duncan had caught you looking at his muscles, lightly flexing them, just for you.

“I do think that I personally own you some explanations” he spoke and invited you to sit in front of him, for which you were thankful, because your legs were trembling.

Terribly.

“And you do owe me some explanations, as well”.

That last part of his discourse got quite in your head, and before you knew it that part of rage you didn’t know you owned blurted out suddenly.

“What kind of explanations do I have to give to you?” he seemed shocked by the anger in your tone, and this time the trembling passed at your entire body “… ok… I was a camgirl! I used to do softcore porn, is it such a punishable crime?! Believe me I didn’t start because I liked it! I fucking needed money… and… it made cash quick…”.

“Those aren’t the explanations I needed” he mumbled, once you shut your mouth “… I wouldn’t judge you on such things, I am, in fact, here to apologize on Carla’s behalf, she has been fired for what she did”.

You were simply able to mumble an ‘oh’ and again Duncan invited to sit you down.

“I honestly have to say that I had my own prejudices about… sex workers, I think that is the appropriate term, isn’t it?” you nodded and he smiled a bit, although there was a bit of sadness in his tone “…I had… I hit a dry spell a bit ago and I turned to porn, I swear I am not saying this to be a sleazy boss, but I have got a point…”.

You honestly had to admit that you were a bit weirded out but let him continue.

You had this sensation… as if everything was slowly coming together in a bigger picture.

“I turned to porn, and let me tell you… it made me feel… a shit ton ashamed: I am a normal, handsome and rich guy, I should have felt comfortable with everything, shouldn’t I?” he lowered his gaze at his hands and you were well aware that he was ashamed of this “… but I just couldn’t, so I tried other ways and through porn I met somebody who changed my life…”.

You held your breath.

And it finally hit you where you had seen the little swallow: in one of the last pictures that DCDS had sent you.

“It was you, (Y/N), or Heavenly Brat” and he then moved his hand to you “Nice to meet you, I am DCDS”.

Your mind went blank.

And it must have shown onto your face, because Duncan tried to get you back to reality, but you were slowly linking all the points together.

That was why you had looked familiar to Duncan.

And that was also why DCDS had broken up with you the same time as Duncan and his ‘mystery woman’ had split off.

And that was why he had the swallows on his arm, like DCDS.

Duncan and DCDS were the same person.

You had been camming for your boss.

You had fallen in love with your ex-boss.

“Fucking shit” you muttered under your breath and Duncan laughed lightly.

“Yeah that is what I thought” he seemed still a bit ashamed “… I know that you might not believe me”.

“This isn’t fucking real” you retorted, thinking about how many possibilities must have been out there for you to hook up virtually with your boss.

(And to develop a crush on him).

“… I can show you my account identification, alongside the fact that I know that you have a little mole… down there” hadn’t you been weirded out by the entire situation you would have made fun of such a big man blushing like a teenager at the mention of your intimate parts “… I know that you still sleep with your teddy bear, not because you are afraid of the dark, but because you are afraid he’ll be, you are always so thoughtful for everyone… it is one of the many things that I loved about you”.

You were breathless at the confession.

And you didn’t know what to say.

Embarrassment and a dreadful feeling of being lost raged in your soul, till again anger took over you.

“You broke my heart” it was barely a whisper, but it was much more powerful than a proper shout and it made Duncan flinch.

“… I know I am sorry…” he mumbled, searching your eyes and shooting out a hand, which you pushed away indignant “… I just… I felt frustrated, I thought we were going anywhere…”.

“Oh you were the fucking frustrated one?!” you shot back and raised up, making him back slightly “I was the one who had a fucking breakdown because I didn’t understand if the fact that I had fallen in love with some guy I had met on the internet was worse than the pain it caused me breaking up with me!”.

The shout echoed in the small apartment and Duncan opened his mouth to reply just to close it and shift his attention away from you.

You understood that you had hit a deep spot.

And unwillingly had admitted that you had fallen in love with him.

“… and even if… you hadn’t broken my heart…” you regained slowly your breath, thinking that a clean cut was better for both of you”… I didn’t fall in love with you, I fell in love with DCDS, and you didn’t fall in love with me, but with Heavenly… this is not…”.

“That is something that I know all too well” he shot back, although his voice didn’t raise, you knew he was serious and was fighting anything in his body not to react impulsively “… I thought about it the entire way there, whether I was in love with you or Heavenly, but you want the truth: I have met you both as Heavenly and as you and, although I knew you less than Heavenly, I am attracted by you”.

You were shocked.

And trying not to think that it was the same thing you felt about him.

“I know that you are confused…” he mumbled and then shot a light smirk to you “… and very pissed”.

You simply replied with a slight grimace, but you weren’t able to hate on him.

Yeah, you were being angry at him, but…

“What I am asking to you isn’t to end up together…” he explained “… but both Heavenly and (Y/N) are both dear to me, and I want… I am not… Gosh I suck with words”.

“I think that you are pretty good since I don’t know what to say” you brightened a bit the mood and he smirked at you a bit, thankfully.

“… what I want to say… if I don’t lose the courage… is that… I want to get to know you, outside of Heavenly, although I know that after this you might not want to ever know me again” he mumbled “… if you are willing to get to know the more boring part of DCDS… I am willing to get to know…”.

“You are not going to get points for calling me ‘annoying’ “ you retorted softly, again a soft laugh being emitted from him “… and I just… so many things have been happening… and I don’t…”.

“I don’t need an immediate answer” he said curtly, slowly getting up from the chair and the sight of it pained you almost physically “You can have all the time in the world, I am just going to leave you alone, now”.

You didn’t know how and why, but you just couldn’t let him go.

“… I usually think better on a full stomach” you replied softly, offering him a shy smile, as he turned wondering softly whether he had heard right or nor “… so why don’t we talk about this over dinner? Obviously if you don’t have anything more important to… do…”.

He just shook his head, looking like he had just won a million bucks.

“… I don’t have anything to do, so if you let me know what I have to do I’ll do whatever you want me to do”.

‘Then kiss me stupid’ you thought, but simply moved to the kitchen followed by Duncan.

The atmosphere relaxed as you both got involved into moving around the kitchen to collect the various ingredient, the entire climate becoming more cheerful as you spurred on some questions and laughs, completely forgetting about the fact that you had been exposed just that morning.

You couldn’t deny that DCDS/Duncan always made your day was better.

“…by the way, you wouldn’t be wrong about saying that I am the most annoying part” you teased him, as you pushed the dough in the oven, setting it up to be cooked for ten minutes, as Duncan cut the vegetables.

Again, a delicious blush crept from his neck to his cheeks.

You almost wanted to follow the trail with your fingers.

One of the most amazing thing ever of having DCDS/Duncan in your life, in meat and bones, was that you could touch him, finally

Not being divided anymore by the screen of a laptop, you could touch him all you wanted, although you tried to keep your touch to be accidental and clumsy, to avoid making Duncan think that you were a creeper.

“I didn’t… I was joking… I thought… it’s me who is boring” he stammered and you had pity on him, softly laughing “… I am not saying that I have a favorite between you and Heavenly Brat, but I am curious about you”.

The genuine tone of his voice warmed your heart and made your cheeks flustered.

“… and I hope not to sound like a creep, but Gosh… you look even younger than Heavenly…” his face now was as red as the tomato he was cutting “… are you sure that you are legal?”.

“Want to check my driver license?” you joked, seeing him reach a shade of red, which you didn’t know was achievable and you swiftly moved to collect your bag, discarded on the kitchen counter, getting your wallet and your driver license “… but before I show you that I am truly legal, please don’t laugh at my photo, I was having a bad hair day…”.

Duncan stole it from your hands and, although you had given him your warning, he still erupted in a joyous laughter, meanwhile you sent him an annoyed glare.

“You look like a wet cat!” and he then turned to you “… an angry wet cat”.

You regained hastily the control over your picture, showing your tongue to Duncan.

“Ok ok, I might have exaggerated, but in exchange for that show…” he reached in his pocket and showed her his phone, unlocking it and searching through the images, finding one that he was looking for and showing her “… this was my ID in college…”.

Ad there Duncan looked ridiculously nerdy, miles away from the vigorous man you had in front of you.

But you still loved the little offer he had given you, a show that he somehow trusted you.

“Oh, you don’t look so bad…” you muttered, before quirking an eyebrow at him “… and you have money, that solves everything”.

“Almost everything” he muttered harshly, and you understood you had hit a sore spot.

You threw him a soft and apologetical smile, and he just sighed lightly, before his hand gently posed itself onto your lower back to comfort you and he moved to check on your baked good.

And you were grateful he was turned so he couldn’t see you blushing.

The entire dinner continued peacefully, even more than you would have liked, since Duncan was the perfect gentleman and you couldn’t help but feel like there was something stiff and incomplete between you.

Still your heart couldn’t take anymore heartbreak, not after DCDS’s rejection.

Although you understood that Duncan hadn’t meant to hurt you… it still burned as a too soon memory.

Duncan suggested that he washed the dishes for you, at the end of the dinner, but you insisted he just stayed sit, since he was your host, in the end you made a deal: you would be doing the washing and he would be doing the drying, but as you accidentally bumped in each other… you found yourself a few centimeters away from his face.

His chest was beating against yours and you were rather happy to discover that his heart was beating as furiously as yours.

“… we shouldn’t stand so close” his voice was deep and rough and you recognized it as DCDS, something immediately sparkling in your core, as you ignored his warning and raised lightly onto your toes “…this is not….”.

“Just stop talking” and you let your lips join.

You had thought about what it would feel to press your lips against DCDS, and you had tasted Duncan’s.

But tasting them, so plush and soft, with the knowledge that you were kissing the man you had fallen in love with… it was truly all you needed.

You felt Duncan’s hand moving from his tight grip onto your hips, pushing you against the sink, nailing you there, as e his lips moved lightly onto yours, retiring just to find new spots to kiss.

Your cheeks, the corner of your mouth, the point in which your neck joined your collarbones and there further, till his lips found the hem of your blouse, tracing it in a lightly sneaky teasing way, that got you heavy breathing under him.

“… well I do think that it could be fruitful instead to stand close to you” you joked softly as Duncan retreated, more to witness a way to get you out of your blouse than to actually leave you some time to think.

You could see perfectly in his eyes that you had awakened a beast.

“You have gone too far, little girl” he spoke, and his lips went to your neck, but this time a sound bite was delivered there, as he soothed the small hurt licking the sign of his passage, a bruise would be appearing there soon “… you are a beautiful and tempting creature, your daddy should have taught you that it is better not to tease men, like me”.

And he turned you lightly against the sink counter, pushing you against his hardness, his lips ticking your ear, and making you roughly oversensitive about whatever he was going to do, as he slipped a finger in your mouth, making you envelop it tightly as you sucked on it, focusing on it not to lose control.

“Daddy should have known better” he muttered, before roughly pushed his hips against your soft backside “Daddy should have taught you better, but I guess I’ll have to be the one to teach a you a lesson”.

His finger slipped over your core, clothed by the jeans and your panties, but sensitive enough to love the friction his touches created.

“Will have to teach you to how to behave, little girl” he muttered, before he bit down your ear, and the suddenly all the things came crashing onto you.

That morning, the revelation and the thought of Duncan and his confused feelings.

(Not to talk about your own).

You stiffened and Duncan realized it immediately, backing off immediately.

“I am sorry, I must have exaggerated, it wasn’t my intention…” he continued stumbling in words.

“… no no, it’s just… “ you tried to breath “… today has been too much, and I don’t want to do something in the heat of the moment, mostly such an important decision”.

Duncan linked your hands, and you were almost grateful for the small contact.

“I understand it” he muttered softly as if he was afraid to startle her “… and I respect it, fully”.

“I am sorry…” you tried to utter, but he stopped you gently.

“Don’t worry, and no need to say ‘sorry’” he kissed then gently her forehead “… I do think that this is the time I bid you ‘goodnight’ and take my leave, I have overstepped your welcome”.

You nodded but pleaded softly at him not to be a stranger, and he simply smirked.

“Don’t worry, you’ll hear from me soon”.

“That seems threatening” you retorted as you accompanied him to the door.

“Have a good night of sleep, babygirl” he simply smirked back, seeing you blush at the nickname, before he leaned down for once last kiss at your right cheek, saluting you from the gate.

And that night, although all your life had gone to shit, you slept like a babe.

The morning after that day, you were woken up by some even better news as you reached to see the message you had gotten on your phone and found something rather interesting.

Maybe your life hadn’t gone completely to shit, but it had just begun.

* * *

Three months after:

You said ‘goodnight’ to Tina, your own secretary, asyou were on the phone with your therapist.

This time not to schedule anything.

After everything had gone down, your therapist had come up with an idea: you could create a non-profit society to help sex workers to find a job after their career finished or if they ever decided to quit.

Duncan had decidedly helped you fund it, although you had insisted you didn’t need his help and that it would make you feel uncomfortable, he just signed a check and looked at you in the eyes, saying that what you were doing was both important and a statement.

And he wasn’t doing it, because you were dating, but because it had been porn that had brought them together.

‘I can see the way that porn affect people’s behavior, even more when it is difficult to see a way to escape it, if you have been thrust into it unwillingly, what you are doing is… brave” he had commented, as he signed the paper “… and I hope it’ll go well for you’.

It had.

You had grown increasingly and through your own services you had found a job at a major agency, which had been thoroughly interested by your work in the foundation, and this time you hadn’t hidden your camgirl past.

Although the material had disappeared, you didn’t feel like it was something that should have been a stain or hidden in your life project.

Thankfully the agency hadn’t made many stories about it and you had found a nice work, giving your own help to the foundation.

Your therapist helped you with it, offering her services as a psychological consultant, and now she was talking with you to give you a report of the latest people she had visited, not disclosing any personal information, but certainly talking about a few problematics and innovations you could make.

As you finished the conversation, wishing goodnight also to her, you arrived at your little apartment.

It seemed even smaller whenever you and Duncan stayed together there, but you liked it that way: it was familiar and warm.

You opened the gates and then moved into the apartment, opening it to discover a delicious perfume of warm food and that the hallway was already stacked with all the different Valentine’s day presents Duncan had got you, making you smirk as you shook your head at all that waste.

“We have talked about it” you shouted as you got out of your coat and adjusted your bag in the proper hook “…no need for gifts when you constantly offer donation at my foundation”.

“That’s because I appreciate your smart mind and amazing ideas” he replied, from the kitchen, erupting from it in nothing more than grey sweatpants and a dirty white shirt, that made you aware the mess that your kitchen must have been.

Duncan wasn’t a bad cook, but whereas normal people would use two pans, he would use sixty, at least.

“… and what are these for?” you shot back, pointing out all the gifts in the hallway, going from various teddy bears to beautiful flowers of any kind, from your favorites to the ones that you found beautiful.

“To show that I appreciate you, your body and soul” he shot back and you just quirked one eyebrow at him, although you felt a soft warmth in your stomach, quickly spreading to your cheeks making them flustered “… and to celebrate Valentine’s Day”.

“You almost make me forget that it’s a commercial holiday” you joked, before he deliberately brought you in his arms, although you protested lightly knowing all too well that the flour on him and the tomato sauce would dirty your clothes, but he didn’t care “… I am also happy to see you”.

You stayed in the warm hug for quite some time, thinking back at all the steps that had taken you there.

Meanwhile you had raised yourself up, you had built a relationship with Duncan, your DCDS, knowing each other past your digital personas, and going through the process of a relationship, till it had become a stable one.

A real one.

“… but I am also hungry” you had muttered and to reinforce it your stomach grumbled, making Duncan giggle before he finally released you from the hug, gently posing his hand onto your lower back to guide you in the kitchen, where, ignoring the pans and pots mess in your sink, he had set up a table proper for a five-star restaurant.

He made you sit up, holding back your chair to let you sit properly, and as he lowered he delved a soft and teasing kiss to your neck, which made you squeal lightly, and he went to get the appetizer and he sat down in front of you.

It had taken quite the effort from you both.

You had both confessed some rather important things about each other: Duncan had admitted his true birth conditions and you had told him the entire truth about your family.

You had had some painful moments and some others where you felt like you didn’t belong with each other, but in the end you were there, cheering onto champagne and smirking softly at each other.

“Christine told me that a few new girls that might want to come… meanwhile Tina has reached a good audience through the socials, which is always nice” you explained once Duncan asked about your day “… I think that it is very interesting … the results we are finding”.

“Ahh I am glad, I know that you’ll succeed in whatever you put your pretty mind onto” he joked softly, reaching out to grip softly your hand, as you smirked and asked about his day “… extremely boring! You have no idea how long a day can be when half of the office is kissing each other and you can’t wait to go back to your lovely girlfriend”.

“You better focus your mind, or I’ll have to become your sugar mommy” you joked, and he just wiggled your eyebrows at you.

“That wouldn’t be such a bad idea”

“Don’t even think about it, you’d be an awful camboy” you shot back, full-blown laughing.

“Oh c’mon! You are just jealous because I would be better than you” he retorted and smirked softly, meanwhile you just kicked him under the table, soothing the small ache with a light caress “… we could make a shit ton of money together I am sure”.

“… is that your exhibitionist kink talking?”.

Duncan’s mouth opened, surprised but he didn’t mutter anything, and you were grateful for the small blush on his cheeks.

And you pushed yourself lightly across the table to kiss his cheeks softly.

Before going back to your food, although you could feel Duncan’s eyes on you.

And you simply smirked.

The teasing was half the fun.

After you ended up finishing your dinner, you sat onto the sofa, finishing your glasses of champagne that Duncan kept on filling, making you giggly and lightly dizzy.

Enough to almost forget your gift for Duncan.

You almost tripped, more for the quickness of your steps than actual clumsiness for the champagne, as you went to retrieve it.

You came back to a surprised Duncan, with a small plain present.

He could gift you all the things in the world, but he didn’t expect you to do the same, which made your gift even more welcome.

It could have been a piece of paper with a bad drawing on it and he would have insisted you hanged it at the MOMA.

But you had had actually quite an idea, better than a simple piece of paper, although partly the gift was that…

“Did you buy me a star?” he asked surprised, as he unboxed the gift, meanwhile you giggled at his childish surprise.

“Not exactly” you mumbled, and got from behind the little piece of paper, another one, testifying another star having been bought by you”… I bought two: mine and yours”.

You knew that it was an extreme crazy statement, and wouldn’t have blamed Duncan, had he wanted to run away, but what had hurt you both, in your ‘digital relationship’ was the distance and the uncertainty of the other and you had thought that the symbolic act of buying two stars showed, not only that you were serious about this relationship, but that even if you were apart, you could look up at the sky and found the other ‘staring back’ stable and not going back.

You explained calmly this at Duncan, although by the end of the explanation your voice wavered a bit from emotion and insecurity, and as you set your eyes again on Duncan waiting for his reaction, you were surprised to see him staring back at you, mouth agape and speechless.

You had either gone terribly wrong or amazingly good, no denying in that.

Then Duncan brought you close to his chest, hugging you, meanwhile you felt a few tears wetting your face, not knowing whether it was you or Duncan, but were immediately comforted by Duncan’s steady heartbeat as he gripped you lightly too tight, enough to make you aware that he had liked the gift.

“I am glad you liked the gift idea… because I couldn’t ahem… return it properly” you mumbled softly and he smirked in your neck, gently pushing you back so that he could see you in the face.

“Nobody has ever gifted me a star” he joked, and this time you were allowed to smash your hand against his soft and flustered cheeks.

“I’d give you an entire planet, if I could, Duncan Shepherd…” he gently leaned against your hands “… but I am saving that idea for your birthday”.

He quirked his eyebrow but joined your laugh as you gingerly brought him in an long-awaited kiss.

The fact that you had chosen the right gift making it all seem much sweeter.

And definitely less chaste.

Duncan’s hands not only lowered themselves onto your waist, but his kiss was furious as its purpose was to properly thank you for the gift.

His tongue chased yours in a run that left you breathless by the end of it, with your back onto the sofa and Duncan’s leg creating some delicious friction between your legs, making you lose immediately the scarce breath you had gained back, in moans.

“… I am honestly so so fucking thankful for you” he mumbled, as his lips moved lightly from your mouth to your ear, his soft breathing lightly tickling you ”… this is much more than I expected”.

You softly took his head in your hands so that you could see each other eye-to-eye, as you caressed softly his curls, pulling on them lazily, as Duncan looked at you as a predator just waiting for the right moment to stalk his prey.

“I want to give you everything, Duncan” you mumbled onto his lips, pushing them against his just for a moment, simply teasing them “… I know that this might seem crazy…”.

Your lips hovered right onto his, a teasing that made Duncan go crazy, but he respected your slowness, simply moving his hand from your hips to your ass to lightly tell you to ‘get a move’, as he tightened his grip on it, teasing and tasting its softness and firmness.

“… but I love you” Duncan’s breath seemed stolen by your open lips, after you uttered those words and you were almost worried that this was crazier than buying him a star for Valentine’s Day.

Then his lips moved onto yours, a fierceness in Duncan’s lips that made you dizzy, even more than with champagne.

But it was short-lived and you moaned in protest lightly pounding his chest with your fists.

“I love you too”.

It was as if you could finally breath, as if you had been holding your breath for the entire time till then and there.

And then the silly side to Duncan that you loved came out, as he immediately giggled you, and started tickling you desperately, till it got to the best of you and you full out started laughing, and Duncan added at the tickling his kisses anywhere he could reach, your cheeks, your ears, your neck and collarbone, till you felt like the sofa started digging horribly in your back.

And another craving settled in your stomach.

“… why don’t we move this to my bedroom?” you suggested softly, twirling one of Duncan’s burnished curls between your fingers, as he again assumed that smart and teasing smirk of his “… so that also Heavenly can give you her present”.

Duncan had been, at first, a bit at unease to use ‘Heavenly’ in the bedroom, although you insisted that it wasn’t a big deal for you: it was roleplay, it turned you on as much as any other kind of foreplay.

But slowly, you had convinced him to play along with you.

As you did that night, leading Duncan at your room, still in full Heavenly glam, something which you enjoyed and Duncan, by now, knew all the names of your stuffed animals, having added quite the number to your collection.

You left him on top of your bed, although his eyes begged you desperately to stay with him.

But you were a woman on a mission.

You had chosen a light pink set, with nude details on both the upper and lower part, the hem of it having been decorated with small red roses: the upper part was tiny, enough to push up much of your chest, meanwhile the lower part was a thong with a small rose in fabric on the back of it.

And as you moved it, shaking your butt, it wiggled lightly, in a movement that made you feel cute.

You had adjusted your hair in a ponytail with a pink scrunchie of silk (one of the many expensive gifts that Duncan had donned you) and alongside it added a soft pink lipstick knowing how it brought Duncan to focus all his attention on your lips.

And the mark it would leave.

You tried to calm your breath, although the knowledge that Duncan loved you had entered your body, you still hadn’t processed it completely and couldn’t help but be a bit nervous.

And then got out of the bathroom.

“Daddy you better turn Nicholas away” you mumbled as you caught Duncan releasing his stress with one of your favorite teddy-bear on his lap “… for what we are going to do tonight”.

And you pushed the teddy-bear away from your rightful place, as you sat onto a smitten Duncan’s laps.

The entire set having stolen his breath away.

“Always so temperamental my princess” he commented as his fingers found their direct grip onto your hips, pleasantly digging in them, meanwhile you twirled your ponytail between your fingers “… and impatient!”.

“Daddy! Don’t make fun of your baby” you retorted harshly, pushing lightly onto his chest, and he quickly gripped onto your hands to block you, bringing you closer than before to him, the perfect teasing distance for a kiss.

“But my baby is funny, isn’t she” he replied jokingly, as his lips lightly came closer to yours, just for him to… back away before a proper kiss “… and a beauty… pretty enough to steal daddy’s breath”.

You giggled, hiding your face between your hands, as Duncan’s hand raised up onto your waist, moving till he reached the underside of your breasts, left free due to the shrinking upper part of the set.

“But daddy… you are still breathing!” you protested, lightly pouting.

“… but then daddy wouldn’t be able to do this” he said, as he raised the little bralette to reveal your nipple, already erect and turgid, but what shocked you more than undressing was the way he immediately enveloped the nipple in his mouth, eagerly sucking on it.

You moaned as your fingers moved from your hair to the sheets around you, gripping them harshly as you tried to calm yourself down, but Duncan’s lips were talented.

When you still hadn’t known of DCDS’ true identity, you had fantasized awake at night of what it would have felt like to have him between your legs, meanwhile your finger faked the feeling of him, as they raised from your legs, searching your inner thighs, till you reached your core between them…

… you had fantasized and always felt much better than with any session (it wasn’t unlike for you to fake with them)…

… but the reality of it was much better.

Duncan detached his lips from your nipple with a wet ‘pop’ that made you blush, meanwhile your boyfriend sent you a known look.

He knew perfectly how you were felling, that bastard.

He knew so well each part of your body: what excited you and what didn’t.

But more importantly… what made you go crazy.

As he slipped off your bralette, you helped him pushing your arms up, immediately gaining a soft praise from Duncan:

“Good girl…” his breath hit your face, meanwhile the harshness of the cold air made you shift as your nipples stiffened “… see you can be a good girl, whenever you want”.

And he brought you closer, lightly grabbing you by his neck, something which made you tremble under him, as your body instinctively followed his lead, and he gently guided you to lay down on the mattress.

“… daddy…” your voice was a simple breath “… make me feel good”.

“Since when do you give orders?” he mumbled as he repositioned on top of you, as a sign of his dominance “Daddy doesn’t do everything you want, you know better, little lady”.

He taunted you, coming close to your face, meanwhile his huge hand trailed a search onto your stomach, probably wanting to reach your panties.

But without denying you a good amount of teasing.

“… but daddy, today is Valentine’s Day!” you protested, your voice becoming lightly high-pitched as you kicked your legs under Duncan, again showing all your indignation “… you have given me everything I wanted and more, so why… why would you deny me something, right now?!”.

Duncan couldn’t deny any more how much whipped he was for you, and smirked, although the teasing didn’t stop as he pushed his hand to hold you down and his nose, cold, trailed a light line from where your head met your neck to your chest right over the soft skin of your breasts.

It brought shivers down your spine and slight protests from your mouth because ‘it tickles!’.

“I am giving you everything if you say the magical word” he said, as his lips started a burning trail in the valley between your breasts, in an acute move that teased erogenous skin, but didn’t touch any of your most sensitive parts, making you flinch lightly.

“Daaaadddy” you mumbled, pushing and pulling onto his hair to get him where you needed him the most, but he simply raised his head and smirked at you, as he met your eyes.

“That isn’t the magic word”.

You simply pouted, biting onto your lower lips, annoyed by Duncan’s silliness, but didn’t protest against it and finally uttered:

“… please” and he relented to you, his mouth moving to the breast he hadn’t taken in his mouth, to avoid it ‘feeling left out’ “… dadddyyy… pleaseeee…”.

You dragged the word as his fingers raised up to your other breast and softly teased it, pulling onto the tender skin, before he caressed the areola, seeing it become dark and darker, as onto your other a light bruise blossomed, an hickey he had bit onto the tender skin.

“… now that you said the magic word, daddy won’t deny you anything” he replied softly, meanwhile his kisses trailed lower and your eyes rolled lightly pushing your head back against the mattress as you adjusted your body more comfortably on it “… but are you ready to take everything that Daddy will give you?”.

You nodded fervently your head, even more because Duncan was so close to your most sensitive spot that even if you hadn’t understood completely the question, you wouldn’t have denied him everything.

He smirked between your legs.

A sight you wouldn’t have forgotten, so easily.

He mouthed softly over your panties, and you tried to make them shift away from your core, brushing your legs together, before he stomped them away in an almost desperate try to gain more friction and feel Duncan’s naked mouth on your ‘sweetest set of lips’.

But he wouldn’t budge.

And from the smirk on his face you realized he had planned something for you.

“Let daddy play with you a bit…” he proposed, as he lowered lightly your panties, but the cotton was just too close to your core, making you pout and protest lightly “… daddy is going to draw some things onto your picture perfect princess parts, and you’ll have to guess what they truly are”.

You nodded, showing you had understood, although your brain didn’t focus on the sign, till Duncan lightly slapped your thigh, just being immersed in its pleasure.

“… baby, don’t fall asleep onto me” he joked and you just pursued your smile in a silly smirk.

“I wouldn’t be… if you, daddy, weren’t so boring” another sound slap was delivered to your thigh and you rolled your eyes, although your hands set their grip onto the mattress.

“Focus, little brat” he growled and you simply stuck out your tongue at him, but this time followed his movement as he drew something onto your Venus peak, too delicately to bring you any comfort “… and now tell daddy what he did onto your perfect cunt”.

You blushed for the harsh world, but tried desperately to follow his movements, trying to identify them: they were circular and round, but never quite met in a circle, instead interlacing them together as a…

“… a cloud!” Duncan smirked happily, calling you ‘his smart girl’ and making you clap your hands as you were rewarded with a kiss over your panties.

“Let’s see if my smart girl can guess also this one!” he replied, and this time his fingers dipped lower, right onto your fold, having trailed lightly on your clit, a bare touch that made you buck lightly your hips against him, and you almost lost the start of the sign, but immediately brought yourself back.

This time the lines were straight, and they were parallel to each other before two more serpentine lines were written onto it, in an unmistakable sign, that got you to giggle softly.

“The dollar sign, daddy!” you shout, and Duncan smiled, implying that your answer had to be definitely right and to reward you this time, he tickled your hips, making you snort lightly as you laughed, and tried to push off your ‘monstrous attacker’, before he settled down to get you ready for another sign.

And this time, you were thoroughly shocked that they weren’t Duncan’s fingers teasing you anymore, but it was his rough tongue, making you feel each inch of his heavenly form against the ‘barely-there’ fabric.

Your mind went completely blank at the touch of it against your folds, making you beam at Duncan, almost losing yourself in the pleasurable sensation.

Definitely losing the sign, that you weren’t able to describe to Duncan.

‘Babygirl got herself a bit distracted’ he mused lightly, as he nosed softly in her neck, making her feel the wetness that had coated through the fabric part of his mouth “Let’s try again”.

And again, you weren’t able to even speak as Duncan’s tongue moved onto your clit, quick and decisive strokes being left on your pearl as he tried to draw something on it,

But you were too drawn in your pleasure.

“… daddy… just…” you tried to utter, breathing slowly, as you closed your eyes to focus “… just make me feel good, my princess parts are all tingly!”.

“No no, sweetheart, first you have to win the game” he muttered back, as he quickly pushed away your fingers which had moved to gently trail themselves towards your core, in an attempt to make yourself feel better “… win and daddy will give you everything you want and much more”.

And then Duncan moved again onto your mound, giving you a light mercy and tracing his tongue onto your folds, enough to get you to focus, but Duncan’s tongue seemed to be too fast to be followed and you soon realized he wasn’t drawing anything, but was instead writing.

You managed to catch a few letters of the first word. ‘…nly’, and managed to bring yourself back as you were sure that Duncan drew an heart on your mound, and then wrote the other word, and using your entire strength and self-control, you managed to discover the entirety of the word.

‘…Heavenly, heart, Duncan’.

You couldn’t help but smirk at Duncan’s corniness but as he raised up, stopping a few second before his lips, you whispered there your answer, and as your boyfriend smiled, you were well aware that you had given him the right one.

“I think that I won the game, daddy” you mumbled, spreading lightly your legs to present him ‘his reward’, although it had been you who had won.

But you knew perfectly how much Duncan enjoyed staying between your legs.

“I think you did, sweetheart” he muttered gently, sneaking and slithering do your legs, as he gently grabbed one in his hands, kissing lightly your calf as he raised it up, biting he tender skin of your inner thighs, already stained with your wetness, his teasing having had quite the effect on you.

And then his tongue drove a wild streak from your inner thigh to your center, stopping right on top of your pearl.

You felt your breath being caught in your lungs, awaiting impatiently his next move.

And then he took your clit in his mouth, teasing its sensibility with such a desperation that made you scream loud enough to know that the neighbors would complain about your ‘nightly activities’, but it was the only way to properly express your adoration for what Duncan was doing to you.

He looked up at you, smirking as he lightly bit down on your sensible pearl, and his fingers immediately came to collect some of your wetness, rubbing themselves at first in a vertical motion and then as he enveloped again your clit in his famished mouth, in a circular motion.

The movements of his tongue combined with his fingers made your toe and back arch as you shrank away and closer in an indecision that was settled by Duncan as he pinned your hips onto the mattress.

And then and there you thoroughly in his sole control.

And you enjoyed every inch of it.

Even more the moment when your juices painted Duncan’s face and he smirked, raising his face as the juices caught the light, shining in a masterpiece of colors that made you push yourself onto your elbow to taste it with your own mouth.

And you tasted deliciously.

You now understood why Duncan loved so much staying hours between your legs.

“Let me return the favor” you insisted, but Duncan simply pushed your panties away from your body, as he pushed his hand on top of yours, towering over you, in a delicious sensation that got you ready for him faster than you thought possible “… let me feel you”.

“I don’t think that I could last even a second in your pretty mouth” he simply denied you, making you pout, but your hands went to tease him over his tailored pants.

“But I even put on your favorite lipstick!” you pouted lightly, making him giggle and he smirked softly as he stilled all his movements.

The rhythm in the room moving from heated to tender, as he took your face in his hands, and his thumb joined your pretty lips, and traced what had been left of your lipstick, smearing it further, making you laugh as you enveloped again his finger in your mouth, tasting the ghost of your flavor.

“… you’ll have to reapply that lip gloss for the morning that is coming” he smirked and you immediately understood that the atmosphere had gone back to damnably teasing, as his fingers exited your mouth and hovered lightly over your lips, tracing their borders “… I want to be waken up by those pretty pink lips around my cock, understood?”.

You nodded your head, already aroused by the sole thought.

“But right now, I just want to feel your heat against my cock” you nodded eagerly, completely losing any protest as Duncan got out of his pants and then his boxers, letting you take a good look at his member, something that never failed to make you blush “… you won’t deny that to, daddy, will you, sweetheart?”.

You just shook your head even more eagerly and adjusted softly on the bed, as Duncan came against on top of you, his cock slowly raising between your legs, making you shiver at the feel of it, dizzy enough that you moaned lightly and shivered as the tip lightly tickled your entrance.

He dragged it across your slit, making you feel every strong inch of it, in a fit that always surprised.

You were so tiny and he was so big, it always made you shiver in anticipation at the thought of him entering you.

The first time it had happened you had been seriously worried, but Duncan had been so gentle with you.

And he didn’t fail to be neither this time.

“Is everything alright?” he broke character, softly raising your chin so that he could look at you in the eyes “… did I…?”-

“No no, it is perfect” you retorted softly, kissing his lips, meanwhile you softly dipped your fingers in his hair “… you are perfect”.

“Flatterer” he muttered onto your lips and then he slowly lowered himself onto you, letting his tip breach your tight hole, and you scrunched lightly your face, feeling him still.

“… it always… surprises me” you mumbled, shyly and he made almost a gesture to push back but you stopped him right in time, instead buckling up your hips as pleasure coursed through you “… a pleasant surprise”.

And that was enough to make Duncan unleash himself with a little smirk.

The rhythm was slow and teasing at first, Duncan wanting to make you feel each inch of you, meanwhile your nails sank down onto his back, as your legs pushed their calves onto his ass, in a useless attempt to draw him closer to you.

But Duncan knew exactly how to keep you on the edge, pushing and pulling onto, as he kissed softly your face in an attempt to distract you as he expressed ‘how good you felt around him’.

But you knew exactly also how to shatter his self-control.

You pulled him closer to you, pushing and buckling up into him as you thrusted lightly your pearl against his pelvis enough to make you moan out loud as your grip on his back became even more intense.

You would have your own marks oh him, Duncan wouldn’t certainly be so impeccable…

And then Duncan raised up a bit your legs around his waist to penetrate you further and hit that ‘magical spot’ in you that made you feel like you were thoroughly in Heaven, alongside starting an heavenly rhythm that made you go completely crazy, as he thrusted into you mercilessly.

He was chasing his own orgasm, exactly like you were.

But he could feel you becoming closer and closer, as your walls spasmed lightly around him, pushing him further into you.

“… you are near, babygirl, aren’t you” it was a question, Duncan didn’t have enough breath for it, and you didn’t either, simply nodding “… can you wait for daddy? Pretty please”.

You were on the verge, but the times you had come together, it had felt beautiful and you nodded, knowing that half the waiting was half the fun.

“Good girl” he muttered, and his thrust became less fast but more concise in an erratic search for pleasure that brought you along with him, till you both did.

You felt yourself coming and throbbing around him, as he spilled into you, leaving you even more sensitive, as a swam of emotions went through your body, making it tremble lightly in an hot wave of pleasure that almost had you black out for an hot minute and as you came back, Duncan was over you, your head in his hands, as he tried to whisper you back to reality.

You blinked softly your eyes, not trusting your body which was still riding the last waves of the orgasm, against Duncan’s softening cock, and as he tried to exit you, but you clutched onto him, to keep him there.

‘I thought I lost you for a hot second’ he joked, pushing himself away from you, but keeping his cock inside you, that warning having certainly got to him ‘… but is everything alright?’.

You had nodded, as your raw voice had made a light appearance thanking him softly as he pushed his hand to search onto your nightstand for some tissues, although you would have loved nothing more than a full body bath.

Which Duncan complied, as a further proof of how much he loved you.

“… but you are going to let me go, first” he had teased you, and you had allowed him to leave you, but warning him lightly not to move too much away and he just replied “… I am going to leave you only to fill up the tub”.

And a few minutes after you were both in it, his hand gently massaging your hips.

“You know…” he muttered as he nipped softly your ear “… you are more than I ever hoped for”.


End file.
